Thursday, February 27, 2014

Things I Find Attractive

From what I've read in messages and emails from submissive men, there seems to be a misconception regarding the behaviors and traits some dominant women find attractive in the men who serve them. I thought it might be best if I were clear about expectations.

First and foremost, I am looking for a man of strength. I want a man who serves me to be at my feet by choice and not necessity. Service is not easy. It is work and it requires strength of character. It requires you to be able to make decisions on your own when appropriate and it requires you to know when your decision is one I will accept. It requires you to have the strength to be willing to accept the consequences of your actions and inactions.

A servant has to be observant. I expect those who serve me to watch and learn and ask questions when necessary, but I do not expect to have to tell a servant step by step how every task must be completed. I also expect anyone who serves me to watch and learn from others, if I compliment another servant or owner, pay attention because I am telling you what I'd like to see you do. Similarly, if I criticize another servant or owner, I expect you to note the behavior I found unacceptable.

Anyone interested in serving me has to be able to write and speak in complete sentences, no matter what medium of communication is being used. I will not tolerate text speak, "r" instead of "are" or any other irritating destruction of the English language. If you cannot understand how much I value language, we will never be a good fit.

Servants must adhere to the prime directive at all times. Your primary responsibility is not to care for me, but to care for yourself. Caring for yourself means keeping me informed, sharing your needs and desires with me, and calling me on my bullshit. I cannot care for you if I don't know what is going on in your life. I cannot assess the feasibility of tasks for you if I don't know that you are physically, emotionally, or otherwise incapable of completing the tasks.

We are both human first. There are going to be times when we do not agree or when one or the other of us needs or wants something out of the ordinary. I need a servant who is willing to do the work involved with building a relationship while having the strength of character to stand up for himself I will make mistakes and I want a servant who will point them out--appropriately--so I can fix an issue or avoid one all together.

I want an authority based relationship. That means a great servant interested in serving me must come to me with the authority to give me the right to make decisions and dictate behavior for them. If you do not feel you have the authority to be your own person, how can you expect to be an effective servant?

No comments:

Post a Comment