Monday, April 1, 2013

Why Tribute?

"Do Me" is not a petition. If my time and attention have no value, why would you want to serve me?

How many times do servants come to a prospective dominant with nothing to offer but their sexual fantasies and organs? Why do they feel as though what a dominant of any kind offers has so little value that we should leap to our feet and beg THEM to serve US?

I believe a lot of the reason for this attitude from servants without owners is that there are a lot of owners without servants and so it is a "seller's" market, so to speak. When there are dominants willing to take whatever a servant offers without setting standards and expectations for what the servant will give in return for what the owner offers, servants feel as though every dominant should feel this way.

I do not agree with this concept. I believe strongly in the idea that if my time and attention hold no value for you, you should not want to serve me. My dominance and ownership hold value, both intrinsic and extrinsic. The intrinsic value is the feeling of being owned and dominated. It is that curl in the stomach of a servant that comes when they hear my voice, see my face, and serve me. The extrinsic value, especially in a financial domination relationship, comes in the form of tribute.

Having spent more than a decade in the off-line Kink Community, I know how many feel about tribute and I say this to them. Butt Out! If you choose to give away what you have to offer and I say nothing, what gives you the right to berate me for accepting gifts and tribute from those who serve me because I value myself and what I offer a servant more highly?

And do the servants of these dominants not tribute anyway? Do they not purchase gifts or pay for dinners or contribute to the household bills? It is really a matter of semantics.

In addition to believing that my dominance holds value, I also believe that service holds value. I reward good service and punish poor service because doing so feeds the servant and their desires. The rub comes when one considers the difference between real-time service and online-service. My dominance is fed by certain things, but very few of those things are purely virtual.

For example, because of the value I place on ruthless obedience, I often set a purely obedience-base task for a prospective servant (both online and off) when they first approach me. I don't ask for tribute for myself, but I might ask that they become verified on a site like Or I might ask them to complete my service application or engage in a writing task. The purpose of the task is to see if they are willing to be obedient to me or if they will fight me in order to get their own fantasies fulfilled. If they complete the task without argument, I will move forward. If I must ask more than once (I usually give them two chances in case my directions weren't clear and they were too shy to ask for clarification) or they simply refuse to complete the task as I designed it, then I move on. This vetting process means I must invest some time before deciding if a servant is worth my attention, but the time invested is far less than it would be if I simply accepted all comers without any vetting.

If a servant passes the vetting process, the need for tribute begins. If you serve me in person, your tribute might be physical labor or even acting as a vessel for my sadistic beast. If you serve me online, expect that your tribute will take the form of something more tangible than a typed up "serve" in a yahoo chat message. I will expect to be spoiled or pampered in a way that I can feel and experience outside the realm of my imagination. My dominance is real. The time I spend creating service opportunities for you is real. Your tribute must be real as well.

I believe as a community, both dominants and servants need to acknowledge the value offered to us by those with whom we exchange power. Stop accepting service that does not feed you. Stop accepting ownership that does not hold value for you. Look past the fantasies and sexual thrills and look for that nugget of gold that shines just for your soul. When that kind of value is offered to you, take it. Otherwise, do not settle.

Mistress Isa

No comments:

Post a Comment