Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Let Me Be Your Toy...

The Japanese Kanji for Slave
I always shudder a little when I see the profile of a submissive which goes something like this:

I want to be your submissive, naked toy. I crave submission. I want you to use me.


Now, I'll be the first to say that any power exchange relationship must be based on real-life expectations and a negotiation of needs and desires. However, why would I want to even start a dialogue with someone whose entire profile reads like a poorly-written piece of first-person erotica?

I hate to be the one to break it to you, buttercup, but it isn't all about you. In fact, if you're thinking of serving me, it won't be about you once we finish our negotiations. It will be about our relationship and power exchange. It will be about your ability to be obedient, honorable, and truthful. It will be about how you meet the standards we have set and how I reward or punish on my whims. It will be about a lot of things, but it will surely not be about you and what you want me to do to you.

I know that often these profiles belong to those who do not understand power exchange, but are they successful? Do they find someone to serve who is willing to be told how to dominate their servant? I'll take suggestions. In fact, I demand them in the negotiation document I expect from each servant. But in the end things will still be done in my way and to my standards.

We are equals as we negotiate and we are equals when we are engaged in power exchange, but a power exchange is a relationship between equals which is not egalitarian. I get to set standards, you get to meet them. If you aren't happy with that idea, you'll never be happy in my service.

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