Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Diabolical Punishment Contest

MissSpiderKiss and I are joining forces to torture and tease all the little masochists out there. We know how twisted many masochists can be and we love it! That's why we've designed this contest.

The Contest

Submit your idea for the most twisted and diabolical punishment you can think of. Make sure it is something you can and are willing to suffer!

Send your idea to us via this form.

Send an Amazon Gift Card Tribute to both mistressspiderkiss@gmail.com and mistress_isa@outlook.com. In order to be eligible for the contest, you must send a gift card tribute to BOTH mistresses.

The winning entry will be chosen based on the nature of the punishment and the pleasure inflicting it would bring to both MissSpiderKiss and Mistress Isa, so be creative boys!

The winner will receive a Joint Skype Session with Mistress Isa and MissSpiderKiss in which they will suffer the punishment they have devised.

All submissions will be posted to my website and the winner's punishment will be featured once it has been performed.

This contest will run monthly. Send submissions each month by the 14th. The winner will be chosen on the 15th. Winners have until the 30th to claim their prize session with MissSpiderKiss and Mistress Isa.

May Flowers Contest

I adore flowers, though I am allergic to most of them. Because of my allergies, I usually only enjoy flowers through photographs. I thought it might be fun to have a May Flowers Contest to celebrate spring.

The Contest

Take a photo of a creative use of flowers. It can be mundane or kinky, but it must be creative!

Send the photo to my email (mistress_isa@outlook.com). Be sure to include either the source for borrowed photos or your name for your own photos.

Include your name and contact information in the email so I can contact the winner.

Follow up the submission of the photo with a tribute in the form of an Amazon Gift Card to the same address.

I will choose the photo I find most appealing and the winner will receive a 30 minute Skype or TeamViewer Session with me. Winners will be chosen on May 31 and announced on June 1.

All submissions will be posted to a gallery on my website.

May Worship Board Contest

A Worship Board is a visualization tool for servants, slaves and submissives. It is a representation of the servant's core values of service and worship. It can serve as a focal point for distance servants as well.

The Contest

Create a Worship Board using images that represent service to you. The board can be focused on serving me or service in general.

Submit the board to me by emailing a photo of your board to me at mistress_isa@outlook.com .

Your submission must be accompanied by a tribute. Amazon Gift Cards may be sent to the same email address.

The Worship Board I find most appealing and most representative of my core values of honor, integrity, and service will win a 1/2 hour Skype or TeamViewer Session with me.

All submissions will be posted to a gallery on my website. Winners will be chosen on May 31 and announced on June 1.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Something I'd Really Like to Have

Is it weird that I really want one of these? They look simply awesome and I want to be able to enjoy it with my boy.

Why are you polite?

I was talking with a prospective servant yesterday and he said the strangest thing to me. He decided I was the wrong Domme for him because I said please and thank you. Now I understand that each person comes to what we do with their own fetishes and peccadillos, but really? I'm too polite? And then I started thinking about it and realized there are actually two reasons I am polite to those who approach me.

The first is pretty simple. I'm a polite person. My mother raised me right. I say please and thank you because you should. I use sir and ma'am to address people I don't know because you should (not that I use those terms with petitioners, but you get the idea). I find good manners sexy, as sexy as good grammar, so why wouldn't I use them?

The second reason is just as simple to me, but perhaps more difficult for a prospective servant to understand. I don't play with what isn't mine. I'm not going to curse at you or humiliate you until we have struck an agreement of service between us. I know the game, boys. You want me to carry on and humiliate you to get your "fix" and then you'll disappear into the ether without having offered a single service or tribute. Here's a tip for you, if you think that game with work with me...I'm smarter than you are.

In addition to these two reasons for my general politeness, there is one other aspect of my personality that might lead a prospective servant to believe I'm "too nice" for them. I care about those who serve me and I refuse to demand or ask for tribute. If you want to serve me, you will be of service or offer tribute of your own free will unless and until we have a contract of servitude between us, at which point your free will is no longer free. I will also not allow you to tribute beyond your means. If you can't keep food on the table and a roof over your head, you can't tribute or serve me.

I have a bit who tributes only $50 per week. He receives the same level of care and attention as my boy who offers not only more in tribute, but personal service as well. It isn't all about the money. It IS all about the service and the pleasure your service brings me.

So be forewarned. I'm really a nice person. At least until I have consent from you. At that time, all bets are off and my sadist will come out to play.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Monday Mayhem Worship Cam Session

I will be available for Worship Cam from 6-10pm (Eastern)  Monday, April 29, 2013. It has been an exceptionally long week for me (Mondays are my Fridays) and I need to get rid of some stress.

To enter the Worship Cam, send a $25 Amazon Gift Card to mistress_isa@outlook.com.

Requests for humiliation, feminization, foot worship, and sissy training will be considered, but please be prepared to tribute for all requests.

You might even convince me to deal a few hands of Chastity Blackjack if you're thinking you'd like to gamble with your pleasure for mine.

Find me on Skype-- live:mistress_isa

What I Really Want

It's funny how what you think you want isn't really what your heart and soul want for you. Sometimes there are simply places in your heart which need to be filled in a certain way. I'm a believer in polyamory because I feel that no one person will fulfill every need of another. Put simply, I don't go to the dentist when I have a broken arm. Why would I go to my boy when it is my financial domination fetish which needs to be scratched.

I've found a boy who is kind, gentle, and attentive. He is aware of me in a way no other man ever has been. He makes me smile at the same time he makes me want to do bad things (because he wants to suffer for me). I want to make him a part of my life and I am forced by circumstance and his cooler head to acknowledge that diving in, head-first, may not be the best way to build what I know will be an amazing relationship and power exchange.

My boy fills so many places in my life and I am so grateful he is there. But there are still places left open by either our power exchange structure or other limitations. I would still like to fill those places.

I still enjoy the financial domination fetish and while there is a level of that in my relationship with my boy, I would like to find one or two financial servants to fill that need. I want to have a personal connection with these servants and so I don't want a lot of one-off or temporary servants in this area. I want these servants to truly gain pleasure from sharing with me their fetish for spoiling a dominant woman. I want them to want to give to me and to share with me their other fantasies so I can help them fulfill those as well. I am a well-rounded sadist and if you give me just the slightest entry into you mind and fantasies, I will find wonderful places for us to play.

In short, I want to find the kind of servant who lives to serve and enjoys service rather than one seeking someone who will make them serve...who wants to be forced or imagines they are being forced.

And so I lurk on Findoms...posting my thoughts like these so the servants can get to know me. I might perv a profile or three. I may even message a few servants and talk about what is in their profiles. I chat with several servants because I enjoy their discourse. What you won't see me doing is pursuing servants or demanding tributes. I may put out a post that I am seeking something, or offer up my web app or call link, but know that those are possibilities, not demands.

So if you are interested in the kind of service I have described, or you just want to share some interesting and intellectual conversation, feel free to message me. I promise you will find in me a different kind of dominant woman. One who will value you and your service all the more for your strength and intelligence. One who will enjoy your sense of humor anyone who will bring you to your knees and let you beg to stay there.

But What do I Get For It?

I know some prospective servants ask the question, "what do I get for my tribute?" I want to address this question in two ways.

The first is the vocabulary lesson and more fantasy-like answer. A tribute is "a gift, testimonial, compliment, or the like, given as due or in acknowledgment of gratitude or esteem." What this means is that a servant has offered tribute because he or she feels the dominant is worthy and deserving. It is not an exchange for goods and services. A tribute is a demonstration of the honor of the servant and an indication of their esteem for the one they serve.

And that is the fantasy as well. That humans might be so driven by their honor, integrity, and esteem for another to altruistically offer tribute without an expectation of anything in return.

While I spend a considerable amount of time closer to the fantasy world than many vanilla folk might, I am, at heart, a realist. I know that most servants expect something in return for the tribute they offer and from me, they receive something we both value--my time and attention.

Those who serve me and regularly tribute receive varying degrees of attention and contact.
1. Those in service to me (I.e. under a contract with a regularly scheduled tribute) can reach me nearly 24/7 in their preferred method of contact. Most use Skype because I can take that with me during the day when I work.
2. Those who have tributed but are not in service to me usually contact me through the site where we met (I.e. Findoms) and find that I will chat with them freely through that method of contact.
3. Those who choose to schedule a certain type of session (teamviewer, Skype, phone, etc.) will receive my full attention for time of their session. I will often check in with these servants after their time has passed to ensure they are well and not suffering any ill effects of sub-drop.

Those who are in service to me also receive structure, boundaries, tasks, punishments and play. None of these are stunted upon and require a significant investment of time and attention on my part to ensure they are each receiving what they need to be happy, fulfilled servants.

What you will not receive from me in return for your tribute:
1. Cam "shows". I may talk to you on a video chat but I will remain clothed and you will not see more than me seated wherever I am at the time.
2. Nude photographs...don't ask, please.

And so if you are wondering if it is worthwhile to offer tribute to me (or someone like me-I am not so vain as to believe I am the only one doing things this way), consider the options you have. You can pour out your heart and soul, while emptying your wallet, to someone over a phone or cam line who will not remember your name five minutes after you disconnect or you can form a relationship with a Domme who sees you as a human being and will endeavor to create the kind of power exchange you need and desire to be happy in your true place in life. Either method will feed your desire to offer tribute, but which method will fulfill you as a servant?

Snark Becomes Theory

In a decidedly snarky moment yesterday, I wrote something that has now been rumbling through my brain and needs to be shared.

Being a dominant is very much like being a special needs educator. I'm not saying that we are similar because of the mental state of those we are teaching, but because like a special needs classroom, every individual servant must have his or her own structure, boundaries, and learning plan. There is no "common curriculum" used by dominants around the world and which can be changed slightly to fit every servant. Instead we dominants are faced with a blank slate and the need for an individual education plan for any servant who comes to petition us.

I have my starting point--my protocols and expectations--but even those must be tailored to fit the circumstances of the servant. A distance servant will have different expectations from me than a personal servant. A servant for whom English is not their primary language will have different communication expectations than one who is a native-born English speaker. I still must invest a significant amount of time and effort into each applicant before they are even in my service in order to determine if we are compatible. I must consider their needs and expectations and match them to my own. I must decide if the service they provide is worth the further investment managing them will require. In short, I must prepare a structure just to find out if it is feasible before even instituting it.

I believe that my experience as a teacher has both made me a better dominant and reduced my patience for those servants who believe they are serving if they demand to be "forced" to do things. If you come to me and ask to serve, you will not hear an immediate demand for tribute or even complex service. Do not take this as a sign that you will walk over me, get your wank material and move on. Instead, accept my small, simple service request for exactly what it is...a test...and do not bother to complete that task if you intend to attempt to jerk me around.

If you complete my application and place an amount on it for initial tribute, ask me how to make that tribute before expecting anything more than cursory communication from me. Understand that by offering a tribute on the application, you have submitted yourself for a second test. The first was the simple service of filling out the application. The second, a test of your own making, is a demonstration of your honor and commitment. Offering tribute but failing to follow through is tantamount to lying to my face and shows a severe lack of honor and integrity.

What you do not see while you are deciding whether or not to complete my task request or while you are dithering about paying the tribute you freely offered, is that I have already begun the work of getting to know you and preparing a structure that will work for you and your interactions with me. I have already but time and effort into you when I reply to your first message or petition. I ask only that you recognize this effort and do not allow it to go to waste.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

It's Exhausting

Warning! I am cranky and tired and venting. While the tone might be a little more harsh than usual, the core belief expressed here remains true.

To all the servants, submissives, slaves, sissies and otherwise right-side of the slash types who think being the one in charge is easy, I just want to say, "I call bullshit!"
I have spent all day today recovering from staying up too late last night to play with a sissy. Then I had to interact with my bit on his time zone (six hours ahead of mine), so I was up late with him and online with him throughout my day. Then I spent a lot of the day talking with a new possible only to have it confirmed that the person in question wanted fantasy fulfillment without having to foot the bill for it. Then the sissy chimed in, wanting more play. Then the other boy, who is expecting to be rewarded despite having failed to complete the tasks I have set for him during the week or the punishment assigned two days ago for failing to complete the tasks in the first place, is whining about being unable to cum, "get drunk until I [he] passes out," or anything else. Then I get home and the sissy is still screaming for attention and getting pissy because I wouldn't text while driving.
This is all on top of my day job work schedule. But the dominant has it easy, right? Just sitting back, eating bon-bons and being waited on hand and foot. Yeah...when that day happens, I'll let you all know.
Days like this are exactly why I limit the number of people in my life. I feel responsible for all who serve me or who are learning from me and so I dedicate time to them. There are only so many hours in a day and today there were not enough.
So if any of you reading this blog can see past the decidedly kvetching tone to the central issue (and I hope you can), I hope you will see what kind of investment we dominants put into the ones who serve us. If for a moment you believe that our ownership and dominance have no value, please reconsider. Imagine working a full-time teaching job where you were not paid and yet expected to put forth more effort each day and to tailor the curriculum to every individual in the classroom. If that was how you were treated, would you continue to go to work? Think of that the next time your wonder if the one you serve is worth the tribute you offer.

Sissy Chat

Some of you may wonder what goes on when I talk with or chat with those who are worth my time and attention. I thought it might be fun to share the chat I had with a sissy last night. This chat went on over nearly an hour. If, after reading this, you decide you'd like to experience the same kind of personal attention and fun, you may purchase text messages for this kind of use.
Text Message Sessions are available in 60 ($25) and 150 ($50) text blocks.

MI:Or perhaps just the mention of ass up, skirt over your hips, panties down to your thighs and my hand grasping your balls as I fuck your ass would do it

sissy: Had to pee. Walmart is open. But only Vic Sec for my princess.

MI: Aww is that what you call my sissy cock?

sissy: Would u grasp my balls while taking my ass? If so I am very sensitive with my balls. That gets me so bothered.

MI: Oh yes. I might even bite your ass while pulling your balls and pressing a plug harder into your ass

sissy: No I call u princess in that message. Meaning only the best panties for you. I would want you to pick them out as reward for me cumming. I call sissy cock. Simply call him sissy. Unless u have better name.
Dang. Yummy.

MI:Are you getting hard again?

sissy: Wouldn't u rather pick panties instead of me buying them

MI: Ultimately, yes
But I want to tease you until you can't help but pay the penalty. All alone in that house. Visions of me breaking your virgin ass in the dressing room at Priscilla's

sissy: I might get u a thong. And u not like it. Yes I am getting a lil hard again.
I want virginity taken at Priscilla's.

MI: I can mark my sissy, right?  I love to bite
Bend you over in the dressing room
Shove the plug in your mouth to get it good and wet
Force my knee between your thighs
Spread your cheeks

sissy: Please come use this sissy now. U can fuck my sissy ass on beach at night. Skirt and thong on.
I can be marked.

MI: Breathe hot against your skin
Teeth sinking sharply into the curve of your ass cheek
Cold drop of lube slipping down the crack of your ass

sissy: So sexy.
I'm hard!
Come fuck my ass!

MI: My hand in front of your face for you to give me the plug

sissy: On the beach. Or on the pier overlooking waterway

MI: What's your penalty sissy? Make the commitment now...before I finish this for you

sissy: Buy you undies.
What size u need? Or want? What style?

MI: Lol. Detail details.
The silicon is warm from your mouth

sissy: I want to buy us matching undies. I want to get you boyshorts (since u like them) I will get me whatever u want me to get.

MI: I thrust my knee harder into your crotch

sissy: Ouch.

MI: Nudging your balls
The lock on your cage rattles

sissy: It needs a bell on cage

MI: The tip of the plug slides over your asshole

sissy: My god!
So hot!
This make u hot also?

MI: Yes

sissy: Come fuck me ma'am
Does it make u wet thinking up this stuff?

MI:Yes it does
The plug slides over and over your asshole
You feel it lining up a
MI:nd beginning to press forward

sissy: Ouch

MI: Take a deep breath I whisper

sissy: Sent u a video... Of me playing.
I take a deep breath.

MI: And let it out when I tell you
Out...the plug presses hard forward as you breathe out

sissy: Yummy

MI: And slips past the ring and into your ass

sissy: I tell u that's your ass and do as u want with it

MI: My hand cups under you so my nails can scratch at your balls as I seat the plug

sissy: Yummy
My balls are big.

MI: I tap your balls, pull back on the plug and shove it fully in

sissy: Mmmmmm
Feels good
Get my video?

MI: Yes

sissy: Like?

MI: Do you want to send me another of my choosing?

sissy: I need you now!

MI: Cum on camera into your hand then lick your hand clean

sissy: I can do that when I cum.
I wanna hear more story.

MI: I slap your ass, being sure to catch the base of the plug with each strike
One, two, three, four, five

sissy: Yummy. Nice spankings

MI: Each hit sends a shock wave up your sissy cunt from the plug

sissy: Yum. Think I love u!

MI: I like the little mewling moans you make

sissy: I would be moaning like a true sissy.

MI: Pull up your panties sissy and don't let that plug slip out if that sissy cunt while we walk to the car

sissy: Ok. Panties or thong?
What else would I be wearing?

MI: Thong

sissy: That's what I wear alot
I won't let it skip out.

MI: Good. They show cum stains nicely
Turn and face me

sissy: Yes they do.
Yes ma'am.

MI: I grasp your balls with my nails

And pull up until you are on your toes.

sissy: Damn.
Nice nails!
I'm on toes.

MI: Natural and VERY sharp

sissy: Look like it

MI: I pull until you step forward into my outstretched hand. I push your chest back and pull on those big balls
Whose sissy cunt is stuffed full

They are big balls.
Mine is stuffed full ma'am

MI: I press my knee between your thighs. WHOSE sissy cunt is it?

sissy: And I love it stuffed!
It's your sissy cunt and only yours

MI: And if that plug falls out, what are you going to do?

sissy: Pick it up with my mouth.

MI:And it will stay in your mouth until I'm ready stuff your sissy cunt again.
Even if it falls out in the restaurant

sissy: I will get on my knees and pick it up with teeth. My thong will be showing as I am bent over.

MI: Now pull up your pants but don't button then or close your fly

sissy: It's your cunt and cock
Ok. Pull up my pants

MI: Roll your shirt so it lays at the top of your waist band and clasp your hands behind your back

sissy: Yes ma'am

MI: Unless you want to be arrested only the top of your thong will show as you follow me out of the dressing room

sissy: Ok.

MI: Of course I could just ask if the clerks want to fuck your newly broken sissy cunt with the biggest dildo in the shop

sissy: Mmmm. Nice

MI: Or maybe the fist

sissy: Mommy

MI: Spread that newly broken cunt open wide

sissy: Mmmmm. Not mommy. Stupid spellcheck
Spread it wide.

MI: So later I could play quarters with it
Feel the plug slipping
Be thankful for the thong and pants
When you sit in the car, the plug is forced fully into your ass again
Push your pants down around your thighs sissy

sissy: Don't slip out is what I say

MI: Spread your ass cheeks so the plug is touching the seat

sissy: I'm thankful for thong and pants.
I slide pants down in car.

MI: Feel the vibration as I start the mustang

sissy: I spread cheeks wide open.
Love the vibrations.

MI: The ridge at the top of the parking lot slams the plug home as we bounce over it

sissy: Mmmmm

MI: More pretty mewling and moaning

sissy: I tell u I love that feeling

MI: I reach past the stick shift and slap your cage

sissy: Oh god. So sexy!

MI: The mustang purrs and I slap your cage in time with the song on the radio

sissy: Yummy.
So hot!

MI: Every bump on the road slams that plug into your sissy cunt

sissy: Hopefully a fast song on radio.
Love feeling it slammed in sissy cunt

MI: We arrive at the restaurant
Pull up your pants and come around to get my door

sissy: I open door for u
LOL great minds think alike

MI: I accept  your hand and use it to turn you so I can thrust your body against the side of the car
I shove my knee into your cage and grind my hips against you
I bite your neck, leaving a red mark
Be a good girl and get us a nice table while I wash my hands

sissy: Nice
Love hip grinding
I will get us nice table.

MI: And I need to go to sleep. I have to work tomorrow

sissy: No...
Almost there.

MI: Are you?
Please what?

sissy: Yes. I told u it takes me awhile
Yes ma'am
Please ma'am make sissy cum

MI: I'd bend you over the hood of my beautiful girl and hump that sissy cunt

sissy: Or a pic would work. JK especially if u have made panties wet. Love to lick wetness out of them.

MI: Feel my hips grind against your ass, pressing the plug in deep and hard

sissy: Nice car. I can see chastity cock dangling over mustang emblem and legs spread wide ope with skirt lifted

MI: And my lady cock fucking your ass hard and fast

sissy: I would be lucky sissy to ride in that.
Please fuck me hard and fast.

MI: Deep thrusts with my nails latched tightly into your hops

sissy: If my cousins won't here I would love to hear your voice. I can't talk loud they have to do yard work early am for me.
Damn. Fuck my sissy ass!

MI: Don't you dare scratch my beautiful girl with that cage

sissy: No way ma'am.

MI: MY sissy cunt is reamed wide

sissy: Yes it is.
Can u call and just talk to me. I can't talk back though. Cousins are asleep.
I would cum in 2 minutes

MI: Until your feet slip

sissy: I buy two pairs of panties for u

MI: Nope nope
Are you going to go to bed frustrated sissy?

sissy: Not even walk outside briefly?
Promise 2 min or less

MI: Definitely not

sissy: I don't want to... But I am hard to cum.
I'm not a minute man.
I'm right there.

MI: Then do it for me. Cum for me sissy it might be the last time I let you

sissy: What would u be wearing out when we meet?

MI: Purple dress red lace boy shorts

sissy: I wanna cum for u
Would I see up dress?

MI: No stockings red satin bra

sissy: I love sucking breast!

MI: Only a peek when I get in the car

sissy: Damn, so hot.

MI: Do it, you sissy wanker

sissy: Wouldn't let me run u any?

MI: Cum for me

sissy: Rub
Keep writing.

MI: I'm going to bed sissy. You need to cum in the next two minutes or not at all

sissy: I love panty peeks
I will

MI: The dress is short enough
And I might lift it to sit on the seat and not the dress

sissy: I came

MI: But did you film and eat it?

sissy: Oh shit

MI: Such a bad girl

sissy: I was multi tasking but not enough
So very sorry

MI: I'll think of a punishment. Remember. Negotiation document. And I'd  like a text when you get up each day and before you go to bed each night

sissy: I am a bad girl.
I will text you tomorrow. I will be sleeping in.
Have a good night.

MI: Must be nice

sissy: Sleep great

MI: I do hope you eventually intend to spoil me for being do nice and giving up My full nights sleep.
Sleep well sissy

sissy: I will spoil u.
Sleep well ma'am

MI: You too sissy

Friday, April 26, 2013

It's a Power EXCHANGE, not fantasy fulfillment

I feel I need to be clear and explain my position on power exchange relationships.

They are power EXCHANGE relationships. That means, ultimately, that we both need to get something valuable from our interactions. It doesn't mean I want your money or your body. Nor does it mean I would turn down either. What it means is that there must be a realistic exchange of value for time and effort in the relationship.

If you are close enough to serve me personally, I'm a sadist and I would enjoy taking out my demons on your body. I might enjoy any skills you have in massage or personal care as well. In return, you get personal time with me and the types of training we negotiate. I am not likely to be interested in sexual service as I am VERY picky about who touches my body at all, let alone intimately. Besides, what you think you can do with your tongue or your cock holds far less value to me than you think it should.

If you are not close enough to serve me personally, I will expect you to be able to provide some type of service in exchange for my time and attention. Be it tribute or your skills at web-building, or some other skill you can share from a distance, you will be expected to offer me such things. I will not demand this, but I also will not spend time and give you my attention if all you are going to do is act out your fantasies on webcam. Watching you wank your dick does little for me. You need to offer me something that makes watching you wank your dick interesting.

If you think you are going to "wow" me with your ability to eat your own cum or whatever little fantasy reel you have rolling in your mind, let me tell you now that you won't. If you think I'm going to devote the kind of time I offer my personal servants to you for nothing in exchange, let me tell you now that I won't. If you think you're going to trick me into humiliating you or stroking your fantasies, let me tell you now that you aren't nearly clever enough.

I know what I offer is valuable. I offer personal, one-on-one connection with my servants. I offer individually tailored training programs for my servants. I offer strict boundaries and expectations for my servants. I offer a high level of contact and care to my servants. I expect something of equal value in return from my servants: honor, integrity, obedience, and SERVICE.

If you don't think what I offer has value, why would you want to serve me?

A Collar Me Exchange Object Lesson

I recently had this exchange with a person on CollarMe. Now I know that CM is generally a cesspool of worthless tops and bottoms, but having been found by my boy there, I cannot totally discount it.
That being said...1) Notice this one contacted me once before and refused to fill out my application. and 2) He still expects everything to be at his bidding and to have to offer nothing in return. The funny thing is, I don't require tribute from every servant. I do require the service they offer to hold value for me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx86 on 3/26/13 at 2:37 AM:
Hello Madame! I am a 26 year old slaveboy from austria (I hope this fact is not a problem for you) in search for my mistress. First of all it is to say that I havent much expirience in this lifestyle but I have this feelings now since I was 14. I really know what BDSM is about ... In this way I want to change my whole life! I want to be a slave and do everything my mistress orders me! I hope mistress gives me a chance to prove that I am not a fake and to prove my quallities as a slave! best wishes your slaveboy

Mistressisa1 on 3/26/13 at 10:39 AM:
The best place to start is with my application http://bit.ly/ZmbY6k.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx86 on 4/26/13 at 9:06 AM:
Hello Madame! I am a 26 year old slaveboy from austria (I hope this fact is not a problem for you) in search for my mistress. First of all it is to say that I havent much expirience in this lifestyle but I have this feelings now since I was 14. I really know what BDSM is about ... In this way I want to change my whole life! I want to be a slave and do everything my mistress orders me! I hope mistress gives me a chance to prove that I am not a fake and to prove my quallities as a slave! best wishes your slaveboy
Mistressisa1 on 4/26/13 at 9:07 AM:
I understand being new and wanting to try things out. What type of service can you offer from such a distance?

 on 4/26/13 at 9:09 AM:
I have a webcam Mistress. So I could amuse you online if Mistress wishes. One of the things I dream of is to lock a padlock around my balls as sign that I am owned. Would Madame like such an idea?
Mistressisa1 on 4/26/13 at 9:11 AM:
I'd enjoy seeing that photo, yes. But what service aside from amusement can you offer? I have limited time available and so service must be valuable to me.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx86 on 4/26/13 at 9:12 AM:
I don't have to offer any money Mistress ... sorry. I am just looking to be trained.
Mistressisa1 on 4/26/13 at 9:15 AM:
I understand. You may want to consider, however, what value you can offer to someone in exchange for what is a very time-intensive endeavor. Perhaps build your skill sets to include something you can do for the one who trains you. Maybe you can do web building or something like that.

You truly cannot and should not expect to be "trained" for nothing. It is called a power exchange because there must be an exchange between the dominant and the servant. If you cannot come to personally serve me and feed my sadist, then you must be able to offer something else I value. I can find a dozen boys "willing" to debase themselves on cam so that they can stroke themselves, but what could that possibly do for me?

I wish you the best in your search and hope that you do find what you seek.

Friday Musings

I wrote a post yesterday outlining what I really want to find in a financial servant. It will go to DommeDose first and then I will share it in other places.

But while we wait, I was musing about Fridays and service and decided I wanted to list a few specifics I am seeking.

I work Thursday through Monday, so Fridays aren't really the same for me as they might be for others. My schedule is one of the reasons my servants tribute on Mondays instead of Fridays. But just because my weekends begin on Monday, doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy some service on Fridays.

Fridays are the beginning of a stressful four days...each and every week. I'd love to say that sometimes my weekends are easy, but the truth is they aren't. It would be wonderful to find a servant or two who would like to spoil me on Fridays.

I enjoy getting to know those who serve me, so I have to balance the time I have available with the time I can dedicate to each servant. Since I don't want one-off or temporary servants, I have to limit the number of people in service to me so no one is neglected.

Open Positions

Mani/Pedi Servant

This servant would provide manicure and pedicure services for me on a weekly basis. I have natural nails and they require regular attention. I usually have them done on Tuesday or Wednesday. This servant will either provide these services personally or see that I have the means to have them done each week.

Dinner Out Servant

This servant would provide regular meals out on the weekends when I don't have time or energy to cook. This servant will provide these meals personally or ensure I have the means to get them myself each week.

Sissy Servant

This servant would provide entertainment and if geographically close, domestic service. I adore sissies.

Foot Servant

This servant will worship and spoil my feet. They will be responsible for ensuring I have lovely shoes and stockings and may provide personal service if geographically close.

Massage Servant

This servant will provide massage services for me on a weekly basis. I have an extremely stressful job and require regular, relaxing massages. This servant will either provide the services personally or see that I have the means to get them each week.

Obviously one servant may choose to fill more than one of these positions. In return for their service, all of my servants receive personal attention and contact as well as my availability throughout each day. My current servants use Skype and have access to me whenever I am not specifically involved with work or another servant.

If my style of ownership and these open positions interest you, please use this form to apply for these positions.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Evil Thoughts

My bit will be off work for the weekend about the time I get to work tomorrow. I have all sorts of evil thoughts going through my mind about how he is going to spend his weekend. I think I'll begin with a recorded video of humiliation for that skin tag he calls a cock. Then I know he will be trussing up his cock and balls an clipping as many clothes pins to it as he can.

Of course I will get photos of each task so I can critique and decide on punishment or reward for his accomplishments. Oh the fun I intend to have!

Mani/Pedi Servant Sought

Tasks, Communication, and Whatnot

I rarely do anything without a specific purpose in mind. It is a habit drilled into me from teaching for more than a decade. While the student, or servant, may not immediately see the value in the task they have been set, I know that ultimately they will be grateful for what I have demanded they do. I can't tell you how many times as the last week of class rolled around students came to me and said, "Oh! Now I see why we did that assignment in week 2!"

With servants, I think the process is longer and so the payoff seems so distant as to be nonexistent. Of course, I do believe there should be a certain level of pleasure gained from completing a task because I said it should be done, but I'm a realist and my servant s are human. I realize that sometimes they need better motivation. While I may not state the possible rewards for good work, I know what they are and I do keep track. Those who do their tasks are rewarded. Those who do not are punished.

What I really don't understand is the servant who doesn't complete the tasks they are set and then asks for permission to do something that would have been an appropriate reward had they completed the tasks. Do not ask for pleasure when you have not completed tasks. Not only will you be told, "No," but your punishment will likely be harsher because you've aggravated me with the attitude that you should be rewarded despite your failure.

I had a talk with my online bit about the tasks he wasn't completing and we decided the tasks had to be altered in order for them to be attainable. I altered them and he successfully completed the task a few moments later. My first protocol is to Keep Me Informed. If the servant doesn't complete a task because it cannot do it, but does not tell me, I don't know to change the task to make the task doable. I am not setting my servants up for failure intentionally but I will not accept responsibility for their failure if they do not keep me informed.

Ultimately I know the value in the tasks I've set and since it is my job and responsibility to structure the relationship, I will allow no argument from servants regarding their tasks and my expectations. I will adjust tasks if necessary, but the task is still important and must be completed. Period.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Ignore Line


I despise excuses. If I have set a task for a servant, I have done so based on many factors including training goals and information the servant has provided for me regarding their responsibilities and limitations. I therefore expect the task to be completed.

What I do not expect, nor will I tolerate, are excuses or rude behavior. Telling me you are "using your safe word" to get out of doing the tasks I set for you is unacceptable. Especially if I know you have wasted time at your computer earlier in your day.

I will not demand any service I do not believe you are capable of completing. I will not require service which will keep you from doing your job or would interfere with your family. I will punish you for failure to do what I have told you to do. If you wish to be released, fight me on this issue. It is one of a very few ways to quickly find yourself released from my service.

Opening for a Mani/Pedi Servant

I'd really like to find a mani/pedi servant. Either one who can give them (I live in North Carolina) or one will to pay for me to have them done. If you're interested, please email me at mistress_isa@outlook.com. Thank you.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Emotional Transparency

I have always had trouble both hiding what I'm feeling and sharing those feelings with others. I think some of my reticence to share comes from an old thought that my feelings and emotions are not "enough" to share. Not good enough. Not valid enough. Not important enough. And then there is the fear that has held my tongue. What if what I feel isn't reciprocated? What if what I feel makes the other person angry or hurts them or makes them laugh?

Neither the "enough" issues nor the fears are a good enough reason to keep my feelings from the servant who has come into my life so quickly and seamlessly. How can I demand emotional transparency from him if I am not willing to be as transparent? Simply put, I cannot.

And so I find myself with the need to sit down and write about what is in my heart and head as I think of him and what his service brings to my life. To be frank, that though scares the bejesus out of me. But I will do it not only because I should, but because he deserves the same level if dedication to our power exchange as I have demanded of him. If I am worthy of his service, he is worthy of my transparency...no matter how much it frightens me.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Journey Across the Slash

I spend a good deal of time examining my life and my choices because I believe in learning from the course my journey has taken. Because I do this, I see the twisted route I have travelled from all angles.

In the past (just past, don't get me started on "old guard"), a lot of dominants were brought up to mastery through service. Many of the seasoned veterans of our community once bent their knees and backs to older, wiser dominants in order to learn. It was not something to be ashamed of, but rather a badge of honor to have once worn a collar and to have served.

Fast forward to this present. How many dominants do you know who have served? How many do you know who would even consider serving? And how many do you know who feel superior to those who have served? This isn't a blanket statement which paints the whole community with a broad swath of arrogance and hubris, but there is a sizeable group of dominants who at least behave as though they feel this way.

I believe that while every individual journey is different, there are some things you cannot learn if you have not experienced them. For example, can you truly know the pain of serving in silence and without feedback if you have not experienced it? I do not believe you can.

My journey in this way of life began long before I knew there were floggers or crosses, munches or conventions. My mind began this journey with my first fantasies and with the first role playing most little girls engage in. I tied up my barbies. I made one of them the evil woman and I let Donny Osmond (I didn't have Ken) rush to the rescue. While I wanted to be the beautiful Barbie who was rescued, part of me enjoyed the evil intent of Ballerina Barbie and her wicked plans.

And so, when decades later I found those men and women who do what we do, I started in Barbie's place. I was the good girl. I was the one both tied up and rescued. I was the one who went home and cared for the family. I was the servant.

And for years I was happy there at the feet of those who said the right words and pushed the right buttons. I knew I wanted and deserved more but I couldn't quite put my finger on exactly what "more" I wanted.

Then came the time when Ballerina Barbie resurfaced. After decades of pushing back the evil thoughts and plans, of people pleasing and giving up parts of myself, my inner sadist stood up and screamed ENOUGH!

First it was enough for me to be alpha in a family. To still serve but to do so with a great deal of autonomy. Then I began topping. I reveled in the feeling of power that came from those willing to stand before my whips. Then I realized something about the men I served. Many of them were unprepared for the needs and desires of truly dedicated servants. They were either unwilling or unable to provide feedback, structure and connection on the level which so many servants seemed to need...on a level that I needed.

I continued to believe I would one day find the right owner. One who would revel in my strength and intelligence, who would enjoy my sadism, who would not break my spirit but rather carefully bend my will. And I cannot honestly say that should that unicorn ever appear before me that I would turn it away, but I don't truly believe in the unicorn anymore.

What I believe is that my time in service has prepared me to be the kind of owner I once prayed to find. My pain was not wasted but rather useful in forging the person I am today.

I know that structure means security to those who serve and so I have developed a clear set of protocols and expectations. I know that accountability and consequences are important to the well-being of those who serve and so I am careful to not threaten that which I will not carry out. I watch and make note and while I believe delayed punishment to be less effective than immediate correction, I will employ both when necessary. In short, I pay attention.

I pay attention to those things which are most important to those who serve because I remember what it was like to beg for structure and to see mistakes and errors go unnoticed. I remember because I served.

So as I find myself having fully stepped from the right side of the slash to the left I am confronted with new insecurities and stresses. My discussion with my leather brother about the MsC included my concern that my decision to step over the slash would not be well received. I know we like to pretend our community is all lovey dovey with everyone's choices, but I've seen the truth. I had trouble explaining my place in the community before I crossed the slash and I worry how my decision will go over. I know I shouldn't care, but I'm human. I care what others think to some extent. At the same time I feel this is the right place for me now and I will not allow anyone's opinion sway my position. Usually this conflict in my feelings translates into stress for me.

This has turned into a rambling mess for which I apologize. Let me sum up and close with this simple statement.

Learn wherever you can, from wherever knowledge is offered. Do not turn down learning opportunities because they come in a form with which you are not comfortable. Please celebrate the different paths we each take to find our place in the world.

The Master/slave Conference

I've been attending the MsC since 2007 (with one year exception in there...I didn't go in 2008). Each year that I've gone, I've learned. Sometimes I learned things about myself. Sometimes I learned things about the community. Sometimes I learned things I've carried with me as part and parcel of who I am. Sometimes I learned things I wish I had never known.

Now it's time for me to decide if I want to go this year. I started thinking two years ago that I wanted to stop  going. The politics and mutual masturbation society atmosphere just got on my nerves. I got tired of hearing the same people say the same things year after year.

But it's different this year. This year I have to consider my boy and what he might be able to get from going there. Is it fair of me to deny him the opportunity to go, to meet my extended family, to hear some of the most seasoned voices in the community speak on the type of relationship we have and are developing? Is it fair for me to let my past color his future and limit his opportunities? No, it isn't, and no matter what else I might be thinking, it IS my responsibility to see that he has every opportunity available for growth and development in his life.

And so as much as I might want to say, "No, we aren't going," it is beginning to look more and more like I am going to have to put aside my own apprehension and aggravation and go to the event. I know that will make my Leather Family happy and if nothing else, the weekend will be an exercise in self-control for me.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Play FinDom Jeopardy

My boy is so sweet!


The Hardest Lesson

I have a soft heart. I know...shocking isn't it? And how contradictory? I can beat you until you cry because I want to see the tears roll down your cheeks and hear your wimpers, but if the pain you are suffering is unintentional, all I want to do is comfort you.

I hadn't hurt you physically in a way that was not happy. My hand hadn't slipped, nor had a toy wrapped. It was a simple request I had made and the pain I saw made me want to beat myself into a corner. Yet at the same time I knew you were watching...waiting for me to either be soft or hard and I think deep down you might have been hoping I would be hard.

I couldn't do it and I'm sorry. I couldn't continue to inflict an unintentional pain, not only because it wasn't the kind of pain I wanted to inflict, but because my heart stopped at the pain I could feel coming from you.

I have to learn to be harder and yet I have to be able to balance the strictness I know you need to feel secure with normal human compassion. Part of me considered both sides last night before I made the decision I did.

Under your pain I could feel your need to suffer for me and be punished if you could not do what I had asked, but I made the decision that what I had asked was not a punishable action if you could not complete it and that is part of why I reached for you, brought you back to your knees and held you.

I will not always make the choice I made last night. I will, however, always strive to consider our humanity before doling out punishments for situations such as what we found ourselves in last night. But know, please, that while I do understand the need for structure and your desire for harshness, sometimes my soft heart will just get in the way. You are precious to me and I will protect you, even from myself.

Monday, April 15, 2013

It is intoxicating...

Knowing that a servant is thinking of me. Knowing he is considering every action he performs and how it will bring me pleasure. Knowing he is seeking ways to make me happy.

I've never been one to drink. I don't like the taste of alcohol, nor do I like the loss of control. However, if this is what it feels like to be intoxicated, I can understand the draw. The power of knowing he is singularly focused on me is amazing. It makes my head spin every time I think about it. It makes me want to do bad things lol.

I looked over his BDSM checklist today and my sense of power and intoxication increased. So many places to play...to reward...to demand submission to my preferences...and to take pleasure. I will not sleep well, I know, because I am already flying in top space from this.

Friday, April 12, 2013

It was a great night


Why I Enjoy Enforcing Chastity

From my experience, both in and out of the Kink Communities, I have seen that for the most part, men are driven by their penises. These bits of flesh draw men toward women and make them act foolishly. Throughout their lives, men are taught by our society that this tiny bit of flesh makes them superior to women and that anything which brings that flesh pleasure should be given to them without hesitation.

It is this concept of immediate pleasure and gratification which makes enforcing chastity so delicious to me. First, putting a man into chastity, be it with a device or via their submission to my will, takes away their ability to spend all day, every day, seeking pleasure for that piece of flesh. It forces the man to focus on bringing ME pleasure in the hopes that I might allow that flesh to have pleasure.

Second, chastity makes a man live with the thought of pleasure without the release of it. How many women live their lives this way from birth to death? I think it's time for men to learn what it is like to see someone else get what they want so desperately (but that could be the sadist in me talking).

Shifting a servant's focus from pleasure seeking for his penis to pleasure seeking for me is central to changing the attitude of a servant who has spent his entire life focused on his own pleasure. While in a perfect world I would love to believe that servants serve because they want to please, I know that a little more extrinsic motivation is needed, and especially with men.

While a man in chastity might have his thoughts focused on his penis and how much he might want release, he will soon find that focus shifted to what pleasure can he bring to me that will bring about that release. He will look for service opportunities rather than looking for ways to get his dick wet. Chastity and any type of release from extended chastity, can easily become a type of Pavlovian conditioning.

Servants who want pleasure for themselves will quickly realize that when I am happy, they are rewarded more quickly for good service. I like to reward, though release from chastity is not an easily earned reward.

Ultimately, my view on enforcing chastity seems to boil down to this. If you are mine, you've given me all parts of yourself, including your pleasure. It has become something with which I can exercise my control and sadism. I will use it as a tool and enjoy the results, so give it to me with care.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Not a Game

But Mistress, I forgot!

I know that a lot of times when we talk about the activities we engage in as part of our kinky natures, we call it "play." However, this is not a game to me. It is a way of living my life and if you have petitioned to serve me, you will be expected to live your life in a manner similar to mine.

I will set standards. These are not suggestions, they are goals to reach for, to strive for. I will set tasks and expectations and though they many be phrased as requests, they are not optional. Failure to strive for my standards or to complete the tasks I set for you will result in one of several outcomes for you.

If we are in negotiations when you choose not to complete tasks, negotiations will end and I will wish you well. If you do not demonstrate enough dedication to complete tasks in negotiation, I know you will not complete them in our relationship.

If we are engaged in a power exchange relationship when a task goes undone, there are a few possible outcomes. If the task was simply forgotten, you will be punished and the task will be completed. I will likely work on time management and organizational skills with you at that time as well to avoid the issue in the future.

If the task is not completed because you did not know how to do it and you did not ask for help or clarification, you will be punished for not bringing this issue to my attention and the task will be completed. The punishment will likely involve a task of repetition to help you remember that the only worthless question is the one which is unasked.

The final possibility is that you willfully chose not to complete the task. If this occurs, expect a severe punishment up to and including dismissal from my service. Willful disobedience is something I simply will not tolerate. If you disobey in an effort to garner negative attention (bratty behavior), you will find yourself summarily turned out of my service and my life.

But there is one scenario which I have not addressed, is there not? What if your simply cannot do the task? What then, you might ask. Again it depends on the reasoning behind your inability.

If you cannot complete the task because you find it frightening or distasteful, you have the option of saying so. I will then decide if I want to accept your reasoning and release you from the task or require that you finish it anyway. You are, of course, going to then decide if your fear or distaste is enough to stop you after we have discussed it. Then you may review the outcomes above based on your choice.

If you cannot complete the task because you have other obligations or issues that prevent you from doing so, you will come to me and tell me so. We will then discuss changes in my expectations to make way for these other obligations. This is real life, remember, not a game, and sometimes life intrudes. I understand that.

If you cannot complete the task because you do not know how, say so. Ignorance is not a crime. I will help you learn and we will accomplish the task together if need be.

The first protocol I have is to keep me informed. It is first because communication and sharing information, not just pleasantries, is what makes power exchange relationships successful. If I don't know something, be it other obligations you have or health limitations, how can I behave as a responsible owner and protect my property? Do not take it upon yourself to choose what I will know and how I will react to information. Instead, be transparent with me...tell me everything and ensure me the right to act in your best interest as my servant.

Guided Orgasm

Petition to Serve

What Kind of Domme?


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

What kind of Domme are you?

I find myself considering this question often as I look at the crops of young, brash financial dominants who seem to permeate the websites and twitter feeds. I know that many who seek out financial domination must enjoy that style of domination as these dominants appear to be very successful. However, I am not that kind of dominant.

I request. I do not demand. I converse. I do not verbally abuse. I treat you as an equal. I do not assume your submission.

There are several things I really want in a financial servant that have nothing to do with finances. The first is intelligence. I want to be able to talk to my servants. I want to look forward to conversing with them on a wide variety of subjects.

Next, I look for a sense of humor. I adore men and women who can make me laugh. None of what we do has to be so deadly serious that we cannot laugh at ourselves and enjoy humor together.

In addition to intelligence and humor, I seek servants who are honorable and dependable. Whether it is messaging when they say they will or remembering that I'm allergic to kiwi, I want to know that when I share expectations with a servant, they will do their best to meet my expectations.

Finally, I want a servant to have a desire to serve or tribute. I don't want to ask for tributes or gifts, I want to find a servant who truly takes pleasure in offering tribute or finding ways to offer service they know will bring me pleasure, not because doing so will get them something, but because the act itself is pleasurable for them.

And this is where I know the opportunity to take advantage of me comes about. In order to find this type of servant, I must be (and I truly am) willing to invest a significant amount if time and effort in getting to know the person before I can expect service from them. It means trusting both my own judgement and the desire of a prospective servant to value our interaction appropriately. And it means I must be as willing to walk away from an unsuitable servant as I am to seek out a suitable one.

And I need to be clear with a servant what I offer in return for their service. I offer structure, standards, accountability and care. I approach all types of domination with real-world standards in mind. I will not allow a servant to tribute above their means, nor expect them to serve in a way that would permanently harm their body, mind, or soul. I will given them the opportunity to learn and encourage them to become more than they are when we meet. In short, I will create opportunities for them to serve so they may have their desires and fantasies fulfilled.

Having lived in a collar, I understand better than many how difficult it can be to serve. I believe it is the time I spent in a collar which has molded me into the dominant I am. I have invested the time and energy into creating my protocols and expectations because when I made the decision to seek out servants, I realized that unless I were the kind of owner I once wished to serve, I was a hypocrite.

I know this will take time. Finding the right servant is a complicated process which will be better for the time I spend in the search and interview stages. I only hope that there is the right servant (or servants) out there and that we find one another at the right times of our lives.

Pedicure Photo

Petition Me on Skype

Manners and Sadism

Bratty Behavior

Follow Me on Twitter

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Philosophy on Petitions

More Philosophy

Keep Your Promises

Find Me on Findoms.com

Follow Me on Twitter

Let Me Be Your Toy...

The Japanese Kanji for Slave
I always shudder a little when I see the profile of a submissive which goes something like this:

I want to be your submissive, naked toy. I crave submission. I want you to use me.


Now, I'll be the first to say that any power exchange relationship must be based on real-life expectations and a negotiation of needs and desires. However, why would I want to even start a dialogue with someone whose entire profile reads like a poorly-written piece of first-person erotica?

I hate to be the one to break it to you, buttercup, but it isn't all about you. In fact, if you're thinking of serving me, it won't be about you once we finish our negotiations. It will be about our relationship and power exchange. It will be about your ability to be obedient, honorable, and truthful. It will be about how you meet the standards we have set and how I reward or punish on my whims. It will be about a lot of things, but it will surely not be about you and what you want me to do to you.

I know that often these profiles belong to those who do not understand power exchange, but are they successful? Do they find someone to serve who is willing to be told how to dominate their servant? I'll take suggestions. In fact, I demand them in the negotiation document I expect from each servant. But in the end things will still be done in my way and to my standards.

We are equals as we negotiate and we are equals when we are engaged in power exchange, but a power exchange is a relationship between equals which is not egalitarian. I get to set standards, you get to meet them. If you aren't happy with that idea, you'll never be happy in my service.

But I Would Be Perfect for You

I received this in response to my request that the servant complete my application:

"Sorry I can do it in person but can't go to web sites sorry. I would be perfect for you. "

Now understand first that my application is FREE. It's a test of simple service and obedience and it gives me pertinent information about the person who wishes to serve me. I'm not the type to demand tribute before I get to know someone and this application is the first step.

I also understand that a lot of men are leery of women soliciting their membership on the websites that require payment. However, all that being said...how, in the name of everything kinky, can you say you would be perfect for me if 1) you don't know me and 2) you refuse to complete a simple task?

You haven't said anything to me other than you want to be considered to serve me. I haven't said anything to you other than please complete my application so we may discuss our mutual interests. You don't know me well enough to say you would be perfect for me. What you mean is a woman, any woman, would be perfect to fulfill your wanking fantasies.

I request a simple service because at the top of my list of things I want and need in a servant is ruthless obedience. Do what you are told. Period. The task I set is not dangerous in any way. It will cost you nothing but the time to complete the form and the time it takes you to consider your answer to the two or three deeper questions I ask. I don't require any information that is of a personal nature beyond the email address you have already shared with me.

So please, to the men and women who want to serve ANYONE, consider what you say to the people you petition when you refuse simple services or make assumptions based solely on your own fantasies.

If you are truly interested in serving me, contact me at mistress_isa@outlook.com and be prepared to talk about service and expectations before deciding if we are perfect for one another. Oh, and be ready to fill out my application.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Honor and Commitment

My manner of domination is to request simple service and allow the servant to offer themselves, their service and tribute in their own time and manner. I do not demand tribute or gifts. I do not require them for all types of power exchange because there are other types of service I also find valuable.

However, if a servant offers a tribute, I expect them to follow through without reminders or prompting. It's a matter of honor and keeping your commitments. You have offered something to me of your own accord. What does it say about you if you then wait for me to remind you that you made the offer?

You've come to me to have a need met. You know who I am and what I offer as I have a complete profile and my blog speaks frankly about my desires and expectations. Unless you have chosen to be ignorant of who and what I am, you cannot claim I have tricked you in any way.

And so I say again, clearly and without prevarication, if you say you will do something, I will expect you to follow through. Failure to do so leads me to doubt your sincerity. Behave with honor and keep your commitments and we will get along much better.

Honor and Commitment

My manner of domination is to request simple service and allow the servant to offer themselves, their service and tribute in their own time and manner. I do not demand tribute or gifts. I do not require them for all types of power exchange because there are other types of service I also find valuable.

However, if a servant offers a tribute, I expect them to follow through without reminders or prompting. It's a matter of honor and keeping your commitments. You have offered something to me of your own accord. What does it say about you if you then wait for me to remind you that you made the offer?

You've come to me to have a need met. You know who I am and what I offer as I have a complete profile and my blog speaks frankly about my desires and expectations. Unless you have chosen to be ignorant of who and what I am, you cannot claim I have tricked you in any way.

And so I say again, clearly and without prevarication, if you say you will do something, I will expect you to follow through. Failure to do so leads me to doubt your sincerity. Behave with honor and keep your commitments and we will get along much better.

Chastity Black Jack Game

The game is simple. It's Black Jack with the following additional rules. The game will be played in a Skype group chat room so everyone can see the hands and bets. I will be the dealer.

$10 buy-in

Each player begins with one day on their chastity committment

For each point above or below the winning hand (no matter who wins the hand), the losers will add that many days to their chastity commitment

For each hand, players must bet by tributing additional amounts. For each one dollar bet, the winner will subtract one day from their chastity committment

All players must tribute $5 on a push (tie between dealer and players)

Buy in must be received before play begins. Bets must be paid prior to the beginning of the hand.

Buy-ins and bets must be made via amazon gift cards to mistress_isa@outlook.com or via Venmo to the same address.

At the end of the game, your chastity committment will be sent to you and monitored by Mistress Isa. If you choose, it can also be broadcast via my twitter and blog.

To start the game, send your buy-in gift card or payment, as well as your Skype ID, and I will send you my skype ID so we can start the game. If I am unavailable at the time you send your gift card, I will let you know when I will be available and give you the option of waiting or not.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Reward or Punishment

I prefer reward over punishment when dealing with servants, because I am a proponent of self-accountability and ruthless obedience. If a servant acts out of an internal desire to be obedient, then regardless of the outcome of the task, there has been no failure.

I believe that a servant should want to be pleasing because they wish to be based on their own self-motivation to serve, not because they fear punishment. I want a servant who completes a task because they know doing so will be a pleasant experience for us both, not because they fear my reaction to failure.

Punishment-seeking behavior is unattractive to me. Those who serve me know that my attention is theirs for the asking. Be pleasing, be pleasant and most of all be obedient and I will pay attention to you and your needs and desires. A happy servant is a joy to have near. One who is resentful is not.

That is not to say I will not punish a servant. I absolutely will. Failure to commit to your best (as opposed to failing a task because of things which are out of a servant's control) is swiftly punished. Lack of manners or respect for your station and mine will be punished as well. Repeated infractions will result in first harsher punishment and ultimately release.

Let me reward you instead. Let me revel in the joy of well-executed and ruthless obedience. Let me beam with pride when I call you mine and we will be happier in our power exchange.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Slavery is not an Out

I got this message from a guy on Collarme this morning:

I'm 33 . Im from kentukcy . Im looking to be taken and made into a full time live in slave . I am married and yes i have kids . But i have a need to be a slave more than i have love for my family. Im a bigger man but i don't let that get in my way . I would be a great slave and i would give you my mind heart body and soul . I want to drop off the earth and never be found by anyone i know ever again . i want to my owner happy and do anything they ask of me ... anything ... please think this over please and message me back if you interested .. thank you ... and with much respect !

There are so many things wrong with this message, I barely know where to start.

1. i have a need to be a slave more than i have love for my family
If your need to serve doesn't translate into needing to serve the family to whom you are obligated and tied by love and blood, why would I ever believe your need to serve would last with me?

2. I want to drop off the earth and never be found by anyone i know ever again
You want your power exchange relationship to erase your vanilla life. How does that work? Do you expect me to support you? Keep you locked in a cage in my spare room until you die?

In addition to the core value of ruthless obedience that I look for in a servant, I also seek servants with a solid sense of honor and trustworthiness. I want to know that you will act honorably towards me and for me. I want to be able to trust you. If your initial contact with me indicates that you are willing to abandon your family on the nebulous promise of being a "live-in slave," you have already told me you are not worth my time.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

But I want you to be mean to me...

I tend toward polite interaction with those who do not belong to me and I wonder if these prospective servants mistake my manners for a lack of sadism or evil intent. Let me set the record straight. I am one of the most vicious sadists you may ever have the privilege to meet.

In real-time interaction with bottoms, my favorite thing to hear is, "I want to suffer for you." I then have to ask, "how much," because I will take a bottom to the very edge of their tolerance if they are willing. One of the most intense and exciting scenes I have ever had with a bottom began with the bottom saying to me, "No one has ever made me bleed with a whip." My response was, "Don't tease me."

I can and will be as mean, evil and vicious as our negotiations allow for, but I will not be anything but polite until we have negotiated our interaction. I will not call you names or humiliate you in any way until we have set the boundaries of a power exchange. I will not demand tribute or any service until we have agreed to your position in my life.

I never assume every servant is submissive to every person and therefore I will treat you as an equal until we agree to something else.

What I'm saying in this long-winded explanation is this: Do not mistake the polite initial contact for anything other than what it is. I am fully capable of being and will happily be the most evil and hard-hearted taskmaster you have ever encountered, but not until you are mine.

Why I Share my Protocols and Expectations

I've been involved in the real-time BDSM and Leather communities for more than a decade. In that time I have been involved in three long-term power exchange relationships and a couple not-so-long-term power exchange relationships. I discovered that I operate much more effectively and comfortably within a power exchange relationship with clear boundaries and expectations.

When I made the decision to stop fighting my dominance and step away from the service roles in the community, I did so very consciously and after a great deal of thought. One of the thoughts I had was that if I were going to own property, I was going to be the kind of owner I would have wanted to serve.

That meant preparing the Protocols and Expectations document so that any prospective servants would know exactly where my boundaries and expectations began. This document is not set in stone. It is, instead, a living document that can and will be changed for any individual who serves me. But those changes will not come until after the servant takes the time to read it and to prepare a negotiation document for me.

I believe that important as it is for a servant to know where I stand, it is just as important for me to understand what a servant needs and expects from our relationship. Finding out what both Owner and owned want at the onset of the negotiation can save a good bit of heart-ache down the road and stop either of us from settling for something on the hope that the other person's expectations will change to match ours.

If anyone is interested in reading my Protocols and Expectations, it's available on Smashwords (so any kind of ereader is covered) for free.  You can get it here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/302244

I hope you enjoy it and I hope you'll feel free to comment, use, or otherwise include what you like about the ideas into your own negotiations.

For those who might like to some help in developing a protocol for your own relationships, I created this workbook several years ago. Creating a Personal Protocol will take you step-by-step through the process of developing a useable protocol for your own relationships. Shannon Reilly is my pen name within the BDSM and Leather communities. https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/68292

Monday, April 1, 2013

Why Tribute?

"Do Me" is not a petition. If my time and attention have no value, why would you want to serve me?

How many times do servants come to a prospective dominant with nothing to offer but their sexual fantasies and organs? Why do they feel as though what a dominant of any kind offers has so little value that we should leap to our feet and beg THEM to serve US?

I believe a lot of the reason for this attitude from servants without owners is that there are a lot of owners without servants and so it is a "seller's" market, so to speak. When there are dominants willing to take whatever a servant offers without setting standards and expectations for what the servant will give in return for what the owner offers, servants feel as though every dominant should feel this way.

I do not agree with this concept. I believe strongly in the idea that if my time and attention hold no value for you, you should not want to serve me. My dominance and ownership hold value, both intrinsic and extrinsic. The intrinsic value is the feeling of being owned and dominated. It is that curl in the stomach of a servant that comes when they hear my voice, see my face, and serve me. The extrinsic value, especially in a financial domination relationship, comes in the form of tribute.

Having spent more than a decade in the off-line Kink Community, I know how many feel about tribute and I say this to them. Butt Out! If you choose to give away what you have to offer and I say nothing, what gives you the right to berate me for accepting gifts and tribute from those who serve me because I value myself and what I offer a servant more highly?

And do the servants of these dominants not tribute anyway? Do they not purchase gifts or pay for dinners or contribute to the household bills? It is really a matter of semantics.

In addition to believing that my dominance holds value, I also believe that service holds value. I reward good service and punish poor service because doing so feeds the servant and their desires. The rub comes when one considers the difference between real-time service and online-service. My dominance is fed by certain things, but very few of those things are purely virtual.

For example, because of the value I place on ruthless obedience, I often set a purely obedience-base task for a prospective servant (both online and off) when they first approach me. I don't ask for tribute for myself, but I might ask that they become verified on a site like FinDoms.com. Or I might ask them to complete my service application or engage in a writing task. The purpose of the task is to see if they are willing to be obedient to me or if they will fight me in order to get their own fantasies fulfilled. If they complete the task without argument, I will move forward. If I must ask more than once (I usually give them two chances in case my directions weren't clear and they were too shy to ask for clarification) or they simply refuse to complete the task as I designed it, then I move on. This vetting process means I must invest some time before deciding if a servant is worth my attention, but the time invested is far less than it would be if I simply accepted all comers without any vetting.

If a servant passes the vetting process, the need for tribute begins. If you serve me in person, your tribute might be physical labor or even acting as a vessel for my sadistic beast. If you serve me online, expect that your tribute will take the form of something more tangible than a typed up "serve" in a yahoo chat message. I will expect to be spoiled or pampered in a way that I can feel and experience outside the realm of my imagination. My dominance is real. The time I spend creating service opportunities for you is real. Your tribute must be real as well.

I believe as a community, both dominants and servants need to acknowledge the value offered to us by those with whom we exchange power. Stop accepting service that does not feed you. Stop accepting ownership that does not hold value for you. Look past the fantasies and sexual thrills and look for that nugget of gold that shines just for your soul. When that kind of value is offered to you, take it. Otherwise, do not settle.

Mistress Isa