Monday, May 27, 2013
I'm taking time away to work on my writing. I have a series to finish and several other projects rolling around in my head. If you want lifestyle stuff, look for Shannon Reilly. If you want mainstream young adult paranormal fiction, email me and I'll share my pen name with you.
Those who know me, have my email address. Those who don't and want to contact me, it's out there, just look.
So long and thanks for all the fishes!
Friday, May 24, 2013
I started my journey in kink on the right side of the slash. I have been involved in several long-term service relationships in the decade I have been in the real time community. In those relationships, I picked up the tab for everything from meals to laptops; from speeding tickets to home improvements. I can't tell you the number of times I pulled out my debit card and paid the bill for everything in the relationship. And what did I get in return for those times when I paid? In hindsight--very little.
Now, I will accept responsibility for making poor choices and while I might wish to have the thousands of dollars I spent back from the men who broke my heart and used my service to benefit no one but themselves, I will still call bullshit on the statements that in "real BDSM relationships" the submissive doesn't give the dominant money for nothing.
How many slaves or submissives pay all the household bills while the dominant is out of work (often for an extended amount of time). How many slaves or submissives pick up the bills when they go to munches or host events in their homes?
I won't say that there are not dominants who contribute, I am sure there are. Unfortunately for me, my poor choices have shown me far more dominants who take without giving even contact and connection in return for everything the submissive does for them.
In contrast, the financial dommes I know and admire--and I--build relationships with those who give to us their tribute. We spend time talking with them and getting to know them. Many of us spend a lot of time helping these submissive men with their fantasies and real-life goals.
Sure, there are always users in every sector of society, but let's be honest here. The women and men who enjoy financial domination as a fetish are honest with one another about what they like and what they want. Can you say the same about the dominant who seeks out and takes a slave so he or she doesn't have to find a job and can live in someone else's house for free?
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
- Good Grammar and Spelling--The ability to use the tools of language correctly is incredibly sexy. This is especially true in the textually based world of online interaction. I liken poor grammar and spelling to showing up naked to a job interview. You might think it's cute, but in reality it's embarrassing and irritating.
- Articulate Communication--Not only is the correct use of the building blocks of language sexy, but so, too, is the ability to express yourself eloquently and beautifully. I'm a writer and I have a deep and abiding love for language. If you can use language in a pleasing way, you have found the way to my heart.
- Ruthless Obedience--I find the willingness of a servant to assess the tasks they are given, ask questions and offer suggestions appropriately, but then complete the task as I have assigned it because they know I have taken into consideration all parts of our relationship to be intoxicatingly sexy. Doing what you are told, not because you do not think about it, but because you HAVE thought, presented objections and had the task affirmed by me is something I prize.
- Honor and Integrity--Doing what you say you will do without excuses is an important trait. I despise being lied to (either by omission or commission) and I expect all who serve me to do what they say they will do or do not offer the service.
- Promptness--Being on time and keeping one's commitments is incredibly sexy. I abhor being kept waiting, so be on time or reschedule within a reasonable amount of time.
- Sense of Humor--The ability to laugh and to make me laugh is priceless!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Social restrictions allow me a place to play...to exert dominance...to push you past where you believed you could go. I must be willing to be there to clean up any messes I might make when dealing with social restrictions. I also expect a servant to talk to me about his or her feelings and reactions to these activities.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
In fact, why not attempt to impress me by tributing first? Send Amazon Gift Cards to email@example.com.
My AIM ID: firstname.lastname@example.org
My Kik ID: mistressisa
My Skype ID: mistress.isa1
My Yahoo Messenger ID: shareinnc
My Email: email@example.com
Instead of coming to me when a personal issue arose in his life, the boy has entirely stopped communicating. Not only is this extremely painful for me, it also violates my number one protocol--"Keep me Informed."
Honestly I don't which is more painful, the withdrawal or the violation. I need contact with those who serve me. I cannot be a good or effective owner if don't know what's going on. If a servant stops talking to me, he removes from me the ability to be the owner.
I'm willing to work this out with him, but the longer he remains silent, the longer it is going to take for me to learn to trust him again. The fact that he's leaving the country for three weeks at the end of this week, isn't going to make this any easier.
So if I've been quieter or more withdrawn or even more aggressive please understand that the reason behind it is that my heart is breaking and I'm trying to figure out how to being to heal it.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
To eliminate this problem, I have spent considerable time developing, adjusting, and enforcing my protocols and expectations. I have made them easily available to any and all who wish to read them and ensure that any who wish to serve me are aware of my expectations before we engage in any type of power exchange.
I have not put this time and effort into my structure to be unbending in how I interact with servants. Rather I have done so in order to give both the servant and myself a comfort zone in which to interact. You see, without standards, how can I determine whether or not a servant is effective? How can the servant know if he is serving well? With the structure and protocols in place, we can both be comfortable and safe as we engage in our power exchange.
I wrote a workbook several years ago on how to develop your own protocols. If you're interested, it can be found here: Creating Personal Protocol
If you'd like to view my current protocols and expectations, please click here: Protocols, Expectations and Negotiations
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Friday, May 3, 2013
Remember that I value hard work and honest effort. I will not tolerate half-assed work or poorly written petitions. Make certain that your email shows me that you understand what an honor it would be to serve me.
PenPal SlaveThis slave would be of an "old-school" type. The tasks, tribute and communication would be strictly snail mail. Exercise your stationary fetish and demonstrate your dedication to me from a distance.
Human ATMAs the title indicates, this is a pay slave whose sole purpose and pleasure is to tribute to me at any and all times. This is a pay slave who will gladly top up my Amazon account or Pre-paid recharge. Perhaps there is a special occasion coming up or a trip. This slave would gladly foot the bill and perhaps receive an account of what happened while I spent their hard-earned money on each frivolous and fun thing I did.
Mani/Pedi SlaveThis slave would provide manicure and pedicure services for me on a weekly basis. I have natural nails and they require regular attention. I usually have them done on Tuesday or Wednesday. This slave will ensure that I have a regular appointment at my favorite salon and that not only is my bill taken care of, but that my manicurist is well-tipped.
Dinner Out SlaveThis slave would provide regular meals out on the weekends when I don't have time or energy to cook. This slave will make sure that I have gift cards for restaurants I enjoy, as well as cash to tip my wait-staff.
Sissy ServantThis servant would provide entertainment and if geographically close, domestic service. I adore sissies.
Foot SlaveThis slave will worship and spoil my feet. They will be responsible for ensuring I have lovely shoes and stockings at all times. This slave might have the honor of choosing shoes for me, if the mood strikes me to be generous. Otherwise, they will provide those shoes and stockings I choose.
Massage SlaveThis slave will provide massage services for me on a weekly basis. I have an extremely stressful job and require regular, relaxing massages. This slave will ensure I have a regularly scheduled appointment at my favorite spa and will not only pay for the massage, but also ensure I have adequate cash to generously tip the masseur.
Periodic Spoil SlaveThis slave would be responsible for spoiling me on a periodic basis. Perhaps a lovely gift one week and a gift certificate for my favorite book store the next. There would be a regular schedule with options determined by me. This position is available for more than one slave.
"How much to rail your dirty cornhole, you silly cunt?"
Oh my *waves fan in face* can you please? I just adore being called a silly cunt. Can't you tell from my profile that I am all kinds of into being humiliated rather than humiliating.
Please, daddy, please. Will you call me a cunt again? Can you close your eyes while you do it...so I can grab my baseball bat and knock some sense into that damaged bit of flesh you call a brain?
"I travel at times and chatting here?"
Really? OMG I'm getting a chubby. We can chat? Pant, Pant. My lady cock is throbbing!
What is the difference between paying for dominant services and offering tribute you ask? Let me 'splain...
If you pay for a block of my time, I am happy to help fulfill your fantasies. I will let you tell me what you like and we can go in that direction. Know that you will pay dearly for this privilege as it gives you the opportunity to express your wants and desires.
If you wish to gain my attention and my time on an ongoing basis, you will freely offer tribute and demonstrate what value you place on my time and dominance. You may receive personal attention from me, or not, at MY pleasure.
Either way, you must show me that you value my time and my dominance. I am not Dial-A-Domme for free. If you are just looking for wank material, there are free sites out there that will be happy to oblige. I, however, value myself, my time and my dominance far more highly than that.
If you want my attention, prove to me that YOU are worth it and we may talk.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
I was talking with a couple of other Dommes and we got on the subject of how sexy the written word can be. It made me remember a conversation I had with an owned submissive about how he and his mistress interact. He sends his tribute via snail mail, along with the written tasks she has assigned. He includes a self-addressed, stamped envelope for her to return with his next set of tasks.
I think that is incredibly sexy! First, it requires a certain level of dedication to hand-write a letter or a task. Dedication that is not as easily apparent in online tasks. Second, it shows a level of committment and connection that online interaction is sometimes missing. Not only must the servant get the cash from the bank, as opposed to clicking online to make their tribute, they must also protect it so it is not discovered and stolen in the mail. Then they must go to the post office and mail it.
I really like this idea. I would love to find a servant interested in this type of service. Someone who recognizes the value in the written word. Someone who enjoys good stationary. Someone willing to put the time and effort into making their tribute and sending their tasks. In short, someone with the dedication and desire for connection that I find so sexy about this method of service.
I am not unreasonable. I do not set servants up for failure. If a servant is having problems completing a task, he may come to me, tell me what is going on and request a change in the task or permission to not complete the task. At that point I may request that the servant give the task another try or I may grant their request. Either way, I have already begun considering how to adjust the task to better meet your abilities.
What I will not accept is anything resembling you telling me you will not do something. As my servant, that is NOT your decision. It is mine. Your job is to be obedient and keep to my protocols. The first protocol is to keep me informed. That doesn't mean you inform me that you will or will not be obedient. It means asking for help or clemency.
I value Honor, Integrity, Service and Ruthless Obedience in all servants. Willful disobedience is none of those things and will not be tolerated.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
The ContestSubmit your idea for the most twisted and diabolical punishment you can think of. Make sure it is something you can and are willing to suffer!
Send your idea to us via this form.
Send an Amazon Gift Card Tribute to both firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com. In order to be eligible for the contest, you must send a gift card tribute to BOTH mistresses.
The winning entry will be chosen based on the nature of the punishment and the pleasure inflicting it would bring to both MissSpiderKiss and Mistress Isa, so be creative boys!
The winner will receive a Joint Skype Session with Mistress Isa and MissSpiderKiss in which they will suffer the punishment they have devised.
All submissions will be posted to my website and the winner's punishment will be featured once it has been performed.
This contest will run monthly. Send submissions each month by the 14th. The winner will be chosen on the 15th. Winners have until the 30th to claim their prize session with MissSpiderKiss and Mistress Isa.
The ContestTake a photo of a creative use of flowers. It can be mundane or kinky, but it must be creative!
Send the photo to my email (firstname.lastname@example.org). Be sure to include either the source for borrowed photos or your name for your own photos.
Include your name and contact information in the email so I can contact the winner.
Follow up the submission of the photo with a tribute in the form of an Amazon Gift Card to the same address.
I will choose the photo I find most appealing and the winner will receive a 30 minute Skype or TeamViewer Session with me. Winners will be chosen on May 31 and announced on June 1.
All submissions will be posted to a gallery on my website.
A Worship Board is a visualization tool for servants, slaves and submissives. It is a representation of the servant's core values of service and worship. It can serve as a focal point for distance servants as well.
The ContestCreate a Worship Board using images that represent service to you. The board can be focused on serving me or service in general.
Submit the board to me by emailing a photo of your board to me at email@example.com .
Your submission must be accompanied by a tribute. Amazon Gift Cards may be sent to the same email address.
The Worship Board I find most appealing and most representative of my core values of honor, integrity, and service will win a 1/2 hour Skype or TeamViewer Session with me.
All submissions will be posted to a gallery on my website. Winners will be chosen on May 31 and announced on June 1.
Monday, April 29, 2013
The first is pretty simple. I'm a polite person. My mother raised me right. I say please and thank you because you should. I use sir and ma'am to address people I don't know because you should (not that I use those terms with petitioners, but you get the idea). I find good manners sexy, as sexy as good grammar, so why wouldn't I use them?
The second reason is just as simple to me, but perhaps more difficult for a prospective servant to understand. I don't play with what isn't mine. I'm not going to curse at you or humiliate you until we have struck an agreement of service between us. I know the game, boys. You want me to carry on and humiliate you to get your "fix" and then you'll disappear into the ether without having offered a single service or tribute. Here's a tip for you, if you think that game with work with me...I'm smarter than you are.
In addition to these two reasons for my general politeness, there is one other aspect of my personality that might lead a prospective servant to believe I'm "too nice" for them. I care about those who serve me and I refuse to demand or ask for tribute. If you want to serve me, you will be of service or offer tribute of your own free will unless and until we have a contract of servitude between us, at which point your free will is no longer free. I will also not allow you to tribute beyond your means. If you can't keep food on the table and a roof over your head, you can't tribute or serve me.
I have a bit who tributes only $50 per week. He receives the same level of care and attention as my boy who offers not only more in tribute, but personal service as well. It isn't all about the money. It IS all about the service and the pleasure your service brings me.
So be forewarned. I'm really a nice person. At least until I have consent from you. At that time, all bets are off and my sadist will come out to play.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
It's funny how what you think you want isn't really what your heart and soul want for you. Sometimes there are simply places in your heart which need to be filled in a certain way. I'm a believer in polyamory because I feel that no one person will fulfill every need of another. Put simply, I don't go to the dentist when I have a broken arm. Why would I go to my boy when it is my financial domination fetish which needs to be scratched.
I've found a boy who is kind, gentle, and attentive. He is aware of me in a way no other man ever has been. He makes me smile at the same time he makes me want to do bad things (because he wants to suffer for me). I want to make him a part of my life and I am forced by circumstance and his cooler head to acknowledge that diving in, head-first, may not be the best way to build what I know will be an amazing relationship and power exchange.
My boy fills so many places in my life and I am so grateful he is there. But there are still places left open by either our power exchange structure or other limitations. I would still like to fill those places.
I still enjoy the financial domination fetish and while there is a level of that in my relationship with my boy, I would like to find one or two financial servants to fill that need. I want to have a personal connection with these servants and so I don't want a lot of one-off or temporary servants in this area. I want these servants to truly gain pleasure from sharing with me their fetish for spoiling a dominant woman. I want them to want to give to me and to share with me their other fantasies so I can help them fulfill those as well. I am a well-rounded sadist and if you give me just the slightest entry into you mind and fantasies, I will find wonderful places for us to play.
In short, I want to find the kind of servant who lives to serve and enjoys service rather than one seeking someone who will make them serve...who wants to be forced or imagines they are being forced.
And so I lurk on Findoms...posting my thoughts like these so the servants can get to know me. I might perv a profile or three. I may even message a few servants and talk about what is in their profiles. I chat with several servants because I enjoy their discourse. What you won't see me doing is pursuing servants or demanding tributes. I may put out a post that I am seeking something, or offer up my web app or call link, but know that those are possibilities, not demands.
So if you are interested in the kind of service I have described, or you just want to share some interesting and intellectual conversation, feel free to message me. I promise you will find in me a different kind of dominant woman. One who will value you and your service all the more for your strength and intelligence. One who will enjoy your sense of humor anyone who will bring you to your knees and let you beg to stay there.
The first is the vocabulary lesson and more fantasy-like answer. A tribute is "a gift, testimonial, compliment, or the like, given as due or in acknowledgment of gratitude or esteem." What this means is that a servant has offered tribute because he or she feels the dominant is worthy and deserving. It is not an exchange for goods and services. A tribute is a demonstration of the honor of the servant and an indication of their esteem for the one they serve.
And that is the fantasy as well. That humans might be so driven by their honor, integrity, and esteem for another to altruistically offer tribute without an expectation of anything in return.
While I spend a considerable amount of time closer to the fantasy world than many vanilla folk might, I am, at heart, a realist. I know that most servants expect something in return for the tribute they offer and from me, they receive something we both value--my time and attention.
Those who serve me and regularly tribute receive varying degrees of attention and contact.
1. Those in service to me (I.e. under a contract with a regularly scheduled tribute) can reach me nearly 24/7 in their preferred method of contact. Most use Skype because I can take that with me during the day when I work.
2. Those who have tributed but are not in service to me usually contact me through the site where we met (I.e. Findoms) and find that I will chat with them freely through that method of contact.
3. Those who choose to schedule a certain type of session (teamviewer, Skype, phone, etc.) will receive my full attention for time of their session. I will often check in with these servants after their time has passed to ensure they are well and not suffering any ill effects of sub-drop.
Those who are in service to me also receive structure, boundaries, tasks, punishments and play. None of these are stunted upon and require a significant investment of time and attention on my part to ensure they are each receiving what they need to be happy, fulfilled servants.
What you will not receive from me in return for your tribute:
1. Cam "shows". I may talk to you on a video chat but I will remain clothed and you will not see more than me seated wherever I am at the time.
2. Nude photographs...don't ask, please.
And so if you are wondering if it is worthwhile to offer tribute to me (or someone like me-I am not so vain as to believe I am the only one doing things this way), consider the options you have. You can pour out your heart and soul, while emptying your wallet, to someone over a phone or cam line who will not remember your name five minutes after you disconnect or you can form a relationship with a Domme who sees you as a human being and will endeavor to create the kind of power exchange you need and desire to be happy in your true place in life. Either method will feed your desire to offer tribute, but which method will fulfill you as a servant?
In a decidedly snarky moment yesterday, I wrote something that has now been rumbling through my brain and needs to be shared.
Being a dominant is very much like being a special needs educator. I'm not saying that we are similar because of the mental state of those we are teaching, but because like a special needs classroom, every individual servant must have his or her own structure, boundaries, and learning plan. There is no "common curriculum" used by dominants around the world and which can be changed slightly to fit every servant. Instead we dominants are faced with a blank slate and the need for an individual education plan for any servant who comes to petition us.
I have my starting point--my protocols and expectations--but even those must be tailored to fit the circumstances of the servant. A distance servant will have different expectations from me than a personal servant. A servant for whom English is not their primary language will have different communication expectations than one who is a native-born English speaker. I still must invest a significant amount of time and effort into each applicant before they are even in my service in order to determine if we are compatible. I must consider their needs and expectations and match them to my own. I must decide if the service they provide is worth the further investment managing them will require. In short, I must prepare a structure just to find out if it is feasible before even instituting it.
I believe that my experience as a teacher has both made me a better dominant and reduced my patience for those servants who believe they are serving if they demand to be "forced" to do things. If you come to me and ask to serve, you will not hear an immediate demand for tribute or even complex service. Do not take this as a sign that you will walk over me, get your wank material and move on. Instead, accept my small, simple service request for exactly what it is...a test...and do not bother to complete that task if you intend to attempt to jerk me around.
If you complete my application and place an amount on it for initial tribute, ask me how to make that tribute before expecting anything more than cursory communication from me. Understand that by offering a tribute on the application, you have submitted yourself for a second test. The first was the simple service of filling out the application. The second, a test of your own making, is a demonstration of your honor and commitment. Offering tribute but failing to follow through is tantamount to lying to my face and shows a severe lack of honor and integrity.
What you do not see while you are deciding whether or not to complete my task request or while you are dithering about paying the tribute you freely offered, is that I have already begun the work of getting to know you and preparing a structure that will work for you and your interactions with me. I have already but time and effort into you when I reply to your first message or petition. I ask only that you recognize this effort and do not allow it to go to waste.