Monday, May 27, 2013

Taking a Break

To say that the last two months have been exhausting, frustrating and disheartening is an understatement. While I have met many great ladies and had some interesting conversations, my other interactions have left me cynical and heartsore.

I'm taking time away to work on my writing. I have a series to finish and several other projects rolling around in my head. If you want lifestyle stuff, look for Shannon Reilly. If you want mainstream young adult paranormal fiction, email me and I'll share my pen name with you.

Those who know me, have my email address. Those who don't and want to contact me, it's out there, just look.

So long and thanks for all the fishes!

Friday, May 24, 2013

Hypocrisy In the BDSM Community

I just finished reading through a discussion on Fetlife about Financial Domination and I just have to comment about the hypocrisy I see when I look at the larger BDSM community and its reaction to Financial Domination.

I started my journey in kink on the right side of the slash. I have been involved in several long-term service relationships in the decade I have been in the real time community. In those relationships, I picked up the tab for everything from meals to laptops; from speeding tickets to home improvements. I can't tell you the number of times I pulled out my debit card and paid the bill for everything in the relationship. And what did I get in return for those times when I paid? In hindsight--very little.

Now, I will accept responsibility for making poor choices and while I might wish to have the thousands of dollars I spent back from the men who broke my heart and used my service to benefit no one but themselves, I will still call bullshit on the statements that in "real BDSM relationships" the submissive doesn't give the dominant money for nothing.

How many slaves or submissives pay all the household bills while the dominant is out of work (often for an extended amount of time). How many slaves or submissives pick up the bills when they go to munches or host events in their homes?

I won't say that there are not dominants who contribute, I am sure there are. Unfortunately for me, my poor choices have shown me far more dominants who take without giving even contact and connection in return for everything the submissive does for them.

In contrast, the financial dommes I know and admire--and I--build relationships with those who give to us their tribute. We spend time talking with them and getting to know them. Many of us spend a lot of time helping these submissive men with their fantasies and real-life goals.

Sure, there are always users in every sector of society, but let's be honest here. The women and men who enjoy financial domination as a fetish are honest with one another about what they like and what they want. Can you say the same about the dominant who seeks out and takes a slave so he or she doesn't have to find a job and can live in someone else's house for free?

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Object Lesson In Expectations

This "slave" spent a week getting pretty much 24/7 access to me (While we waited for the day when he was available for a cam verification). During that week of conversation, I clearly and repeatedly stated that while I was willing to do a cam verification with him, I would not, under any circumstances, play with him or scene with him during the verification. I was happy to talk to him, let him talk with me and even let him show me his body because he felt it was necessary, but that was it. I also made it abundantly clear that I was far less interested in his physical look than I was in his ability and desire to be obedient.
After many disconnections because his internet connection was bad, we spent about 45 minutes on video call with Skype. When I put my foot down and refused to direct him to use the "toys" he had laid out for the verification, he signed off, all the while promising to complete my contract and make his tribute.
That was May 10th. This morning he decided to contact me and this is the exchange.
The lesson to be learned here, for anyone interested in contacting me, is that when I say I will or will not do something, I mean it. I neither promise nor threaten that which I will not do.

I have no problem verifying with a slave or talking with them before the first tribute. However, I am going to be blunt and honest with you during that time. I will tell you what I am and am not willing to do and what I expect from you. When you choose not to complete my expectations while simultaneously ignoring what I've told you are my limits, you will find that I am not particularly forgiving. At least not without significant begging and very large tributes.

oliver: yes i did and i did not log in since that day, this is my first time to log in,
8:54Me: And that means what to me at this point? 
8:54oliver: i was disappointed. this what my reason, i did not want to tell u this.
8:54Me: you were disappointed because you didn't get what you wanted. Tough 
8:55oliver: i was impressed during our conversation, but when we met, i also was impressed by the way u look, but i got disppointed by the way u treated my with.
i did not feel happy
8:56Me: You wasted a significant amount of my time over most of a week and when I put my foot down about refusing to play with you until you tributed, you disappeared. weren't happy. Well I sure wasn't happy to have had my time wasted. Do you have any idea what I normally charge for the kind of contact you got for FREE? 
8:58I told you, repeatedly, that I would NOT play with you during that first meeting and yet that was what you wanted. When you didn't get it, you disappeared completely. If you were disappointed, it was your own fault. 
Unless you intend to actually tribute and beg my forgiveness, I'm done with you. 
8:58oliver: i felt that u did not care of the way your slave look or can do.
8:59Me: How many times do I have to say it....because this is definitely not the first...I don't care what you look like, I only care about obedience, which you absolutely have not demonstrated. 
9:00oliver: i did not feel happy even during your veriifcation to me, you were too careless. i feel that u do not took it serouisly and it was all just to have a tribute
9:01Me: Bullshit. I saw what I wanted to see. YOU didn't get what you wanted. I'm done. 
Up until YOU decided you weren't getting what you wanted, you were being obedient. I repeatedly told you that was what I cared about. 
9:01oliver: yes u see what u wanted, but i was not happy from the way you handle me as a slave.
i am also done with you.
9:02Me: Fine. We're obviously not a good match. You refuse to be obedient and I have wasted far too much time with you. 
Enjoy being banned from findomsandbeyond. 
9:02oliver: i pay my mistress, so it is my right to have the mistress which makes me happy
9:02Me: don't get it at all 
9:02oliver: i did not go there since that time
and i do not want to be there
9:02Me: well you're banned 
9:02oliver: i already gave u my user and pass , i trusted u
9:03Me: I didn't change anything, I simply reported your behavior to the owner of the site. 
9:03oliver: i do not care about that site anymore.
9:03Me: I trusted you too and you broke that trust on its first test. 
9:03oliver: i even did not try to log in there since we talked
9:04actually i felt the same
9:04Me: because I didn't want to see you stick a screw driver up your ass?
9:05oliver: u want me to be honset ot not
9:07Me: I wanted you to be obedient and have a little patience. YOU got every verification you asked for. I got NONE of the tasks completed that I asked for...that you put off until YOU got what YOU wanted. I gave you one parameter for that verification session--that I would not play with you--and since that was all you were interested in, you disappeared when it became clear that I wasn't going to do what YOU wanted. So you got 90% of what you wanted and I got nothing but wasted time. How's that for honest? 
9:11oliver: it was about my feeling from your way of treatment to me. it was very routine, careless, sorry to tell boring. maybe because u just wakeup. but i felt that i was alone, i did not feel your power.
9:18i did not hve bad intention at all. all what i wanted is super mistress and i did not feel this with you. maybe because all the time you were thinking i have bad intention, so u did not take my serousily. i do not know!
9:20Me: Yes, I thought you were probably wasting my time. And a "super mistress' is, apparently by your definition, one who does what YOU want. I'm not that kind of dominant. While I care about what those who serve me like and don't like and what they might want to experience, when I say I won't do something, continuing to expect that I will change my mind is not going to make me more likely to give a servant anything they want. It's much more likely to make me angry. 
considering how you disappeared, I felt pretty sure I had been right about how much you were wasting my time. 
demands and disobedience=punishment 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

What is Sexy?

There are likely as many ways to define sexy as there are people in the world. This is my personal list of what is sexy.

  1. Good Grammar and Spelling--The ability to use the tools of language correctly is incredibly sexy. This is especially true in the textually based world of online interaction. I liken poor grammar and spelling to showing up naked to a job interview. You might think it's cute, but in reality it's embarrassing and irritating.
  2. Articulate Communication--Not only is the correct use of the building blocks of language sexy, but so, too, is the ability to express yourself eloquently and beautifully. I'm a writer and I have a deep and abiding love for language. If you can use language in a pleasing way, you have found the way to my heart.
  3. Ruthless Obedience--I find the willingness of a servant to assess the tasks they are given, ask questions and offer suggestions appropriately, but then complete the task as I have assigned it because they know I have taken into consideration all parts of our relationship to be intoxicatingly sexy. Doing what you are told, not because you do not think about it, but because you HAVE thought, presented objections and had the task affirmed by me is something I prize.
  4. Honor and Integrity--Doing what you say you will do without excuses is an important trait. I despise being lied to (either by omission or commission)  and I expect all who serve me to do what they say they will do or do not offer the service.
  5. Promptness--Being on time and keeping one's commitments is incredibly sexy. I abhor being kept waiting, so be on time or reschedule within a reasonable amount of time.
  6. Sense of Humor--The ability to laugh and to make me laugh is priceless!
While I find the human body sexy as well, it makes very little difference to me how pretty the package is wrapped if what the wrapping covers is a bowl of shit. A gorgeous body with an ugly spirit is not sexy. I'm much more interested in what makes you tick than what you look like.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Limits Versus Social Restrictions

One of the replies to a post about Ruthless Obedience included a mention of limits and hard limits. Because I am an advocate of plain language and clear communication, I thought I would share the concept of limits versus social restrictions.

A limit is something inviolate. It can be a restriction on action because of health, emotion, or other criteria. The key here is that limits are not meant the be broken or pushed. defines a limit as "the final, utmost, or furthest boundary or point as to extent, amount, continuance, procedure." Limits in the leather community are those things which will cause irreparable harm to the person.

In contrast to a limit, a social restriction is something you might not prefer, but will not cause you irreparable damage.

Social restrictions allow me a place to exert push you past where you believed you could go. I must be willing to be there to clean up any messes I might make when dealing with social restrictions. I also expect a servant to talk to me about his or her feelings and reactions to these activities.

Making the distinction between limits and social restrictions allows both dominants and submissives to have a clearer idea of where the boundaries lay. I can say to someone that my limits are, "Don't mess with my family or my career," and while that sounds very broad, it actually allows for some very specific restrictions. If an activity will affect my ability to work or cause uncomfortable discussions with my mother, it must be included in the limit. Using a broad-based limit statement like this, also allows some leeway. For example, if I've scheduled vacation from work or will not be seeing my family for some time, then those activities which might have been covered by the limit previously can be added back into the repertoire temporarily.

I always caution new dominants and submissives (Yes, I believe dominants should have to be able to clearly state their limits, too) to carefully consider what they list as their limits as their limits tend to say much more about their thoughts of others than whether they have carefully considered their own limits. For example, if you tell someone your limits are, "No children, no animals, and no dead people," do you realize you've just told the person to whom you are speaking that you think they might be a pedophile and necrophiliac with bestiality tendencies?

In the end, I believe that taking the time to carefully consider your limits and social restrictions will give you and the ones with whom you engage in a power exchange room to grow and play. You must be willing to put in the time and effort though, rather than looking for filler limits just so you have something to say when someone asks what your limits are.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Contacting Me

There are many ways you can contact me, but please remember that my time is not free and you will be expected to tribute.

 In fact, why not attempt to impress me by tributing first? Send Amazon Gift Cards to


 My Kik ID: mistressisa

 My Skype ID: mistress.isa1

My Yahoo Messenger ID: shareinnc

My Email:

I've been quieter

I've been quieter than usual this last week. I've been dealing with something very hard and painful with my real-time boy and I don't know how to proceed at this point.

Instead of coming to me when a personal issue arose in his life, the boy has entirely stopped communicating. Not only is this extremely painful for me, it also violates my number one protocol--"Keep me Informed."

Honestly I don't which is more painful, the withdrawal or the violation. I need contact with those who serve me. I cannot be a good or effective owner if don't know what's going on. If a servant stops talking to me, he removes from me the ability to be the owner.

I'm willing to work this out with him, but the longer he remains silent, the longer it is going to take for me to learn to trust him again. The fact that he's leaving the country for three weeks at the end of this week, isn't going to make this any easier.

So if I've been quieter or more withdrawn or even more aggressive  please understand that the reason behind it is that my heart is breaking and I'm trying to figure out how to being to heal it.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Nutt the Fuck Up

If the title of this post wasn't clue enough let me dismiss any question you might have. Yes, this is a rant. 

I began my journey on the right side of the slash. I was once paid the ultimate compliment as a servant when the owner of Viola Johnson, probably the single most awesome slave I have ever had the joy to meet, told me that were I not straight, she would want to own me. 

I was not perfect, but I was dedicated and worked hard to bring joy to the lives of those I served. I didn't love every task but every task was done out of love for the owner and for service. I gave everything because I believed the ones I served deserved only the best. 

Over time, I have transitioned to the left side of the slash and I must admit to a certain amount if frustration with those who claim to want to serve. Where is the dedication? Where is the pride, not just in service, but in representing the one you serve? Where is the belief that the one you serve deserves only the best?

I am careful to consider tasks and objectives set for servants and to balance what I want with what works in the lives of those who serve. Because I do this, I do not expect to have to argue to get what I want. In fact, I refuse to argue. 

Ruthless obedience means doing it even if you don't want to. It means bringing your concerns to me and trusting that I have considered them when I insist something still be done and then doing it.  It means NUTT THE FUCK UP and put aside your discomfort in order to be obedient and of service. 

I can't tell you how many times I was tired or uncomfortable or in pain or depressed and yet I was still available to serve. You pull your shit together, trust the one you serve, and do what you are told. Period. 

If you can't do that--If you can't trust me to keep your best interest at heart despite a task being something not to your liking, then you probably shouldn't be serving me. It really is that simple. 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Why Structure and Protocol

One of the things I learned on the right side of the slash is the importance of structure and protocol in a power exchange relationship. Without structure and protocol, a servant is left without boundaries. Many times, a servant without boundaries acts out in an effort to find those boundaries. This acting out can be very damaging to the servant, the served and the relationship as a whole.

To eliminate this problem, I have spent considerable time developing, adjusting, and enforcing my protocols and expectations. I have made them easily available to any and all who wish to read them and ensure that any who wish to serve me are aware of my expectations before we engage in any type of power exchange.

I have not put this time and effort into my structure to be unbending in how I interact with servants. Rather I have done so in order to give both the servant and myself a comfort zone in which to interact. You see, without standards, how can I determine whether or not a servant is effective? How can the servant know if he is serving well? With the structure and protocols in place, we can both be comfortable and safe as we engage in our power exchange.

I wrote a workbook several years ago on how to develop your own protocols. If you're interested, it can be found here: Creating Personal Protocol

If you'd like to view my current protocols and expectations, please click here: Protocols, Expectations and Negotiations

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Monday Mayhem Worship Cam on Skype

I will be available for Worship Cam from 6-10pm (Eastern)  Monday, May 6, 2013. Mondays are my Fridays and I need to get rid of some stress.

To enter the Worship Cam, send a $25 Amazon Gift Card to

Requests for humiliation, feminization, foot worship, and sissy training will be considered, but please be prepared to tribute for all requests.

You might even convince me to deal a few hands of Chastity Blackjack if you're thinking you'd like to gamble with your pleasure for mine.

Find me on Skype-- mistress.isa1

Friday, May 3, 2013

Open Positions

I am seeking applicants for the following positions. If you are interested in any of these positions, please send me an email ( begging to fill the position you think you are qualified to fill. This email should clearly demonstrate why you are worthy to serve me. What can you do that no one else can for the position your are begging to fill? Wow me, impress me, and make it clear how much you value me.

Remember that I value hard work and honest effort. I will not tolerate half-assed work or poorly written petitions. Make certain that your email shows me that you understand what an honor it would be to serve me.

PenPal Slave

This slave would be of an "old-school" type. The tasks, tribute and communication would be strictly snail mail. Exercise your stationary fetish and demonstrate your dedication to me from a distance.

Human ATM

As the title indicates, this is a pay slave whose sole purpose and pleasure is to tribute to me at any and all times. This is a pay slave who will gladly top up my Amazon account or Pre-paid recharge. Perhaps there is a special occasion coming up or a trip. This slave would gladly foot the bill and perhaps receive an account of what happened while I spent their hard-earned money on each frivolous and fun thing I did.

Mani/Pedi Slave

This slave would provide manicure and pedicure services for me on a weekly basis. I have natural nails and they require regular attention. I usually have them done on Tuesday or Wednesday. This slave will ensure that I have a regular appointment at my favorite salon and that not only is my bill taken care of, but that my manicurist is well-tipped.

Dinner Out Slave

This slave would provide regular meals out on the weekends when I don't have time or energy to cook. This slave will make sure that I have gift cards for restaurants I enjoy, as well as cash to tip my wait-staff.

Sissy Servant 

This servant would provide entertainment and if geographically close, domestic service. I adore sissies.

Foot Slave

This slave will worship and spoil my feet. They will be responsible for ensuring I have lovely shoes and stockings at all times. This slave might have the honor of choosing shoes for me, if the mood strikes me to be generous. Otherwise, they will provide those shoes and stockings I choose.

Massage Slave

This slave will provide massage services for me on a weekly basis. I have an extremely stressful job and require regular, relaxing massages. This slave will ensure I have a regularly scheduled appointment at my favorite spa and will not only pay for the massage, but also ensure I have adequate cash to generously tip the masseur.

Periodic Spoil Slave

This slave would be responsible for spoiling me on a periodic basis. Perhaps a lovely gift one week and a gift certificate for my favorite book store the next. There would be a regular schedule with options determined by me. This position is available for more than one slave.


This little gem came from another CM twit.
"How much to rail your dirty cornhole, you silly cunt?"

Oh my *waves fan in face* can you please? I just adore being called a silly cunt. Can't you tell from my profile that I am all kinds of into being humiliated rather than humiliating.

Please, daddy, please. Will you call me a cunt again? Can you close your eyes while you do I can grab my baseball bat and knock some sense into that damaged bit of flesh you call a brain?


In response to...

the question, what type of service can you offer [since you are so far away from me], I received this gem from a CM contact.

"I travel at times and chatting here?"

Really? OMG I'm getting a chubby. We can chat? Pant, Pant. My lady cock is throbbing!

New Feature On My Blog

Because I get so many of these and I have great snarky comments that I generally don't bother to send to these twits, I have decided to post ridiculous "service" offers and my replies to my blog.

I hope you enjoy.

How to Contact Me

I am NOT Dial-A-Domme!

What is the difference between paying for dominant services and offering tribute you ask? Let me 'splain...

If you pay for a block of my time, I am happy to help fulfill your fantasies. I will let you tell me what you like and we can go in that direction. Know that you will pay dearly for this privilege as it gives you the opportunity to express your wants and desires.

If you wish to gain my attention and my time on an ongoing basis, you will freely offer tribute and demonstrate what value you place on my time and dominance. You may receive personal attention from me, or not, at MY pleasure.

Either way, you must show me that you value my time and my dominance. I am not Dial-A-Domme for free. If you are just looking for wank material, there are free sites out there that will be happy to oblige. I, however, value myself, my time and my dominance far more highly than that.

If you want my attention, prove to me that YOU are worth it and we may talk.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

PenPal Slave

No, you read that right PEN, not PAY pal slave :).

I was talking with a couple of other Dommes and we got on the subject of how sexy the written word can be. It made me remember a conversation I had with an owned submissive about how he and his mistress interact. He sends his tribute via snail mail, along with the written tasks she has assigned. He includes a self-addressed, stamped envelope for her to return with his next set of tasks.

I think that is incredibly sexy! First, it requires a certain level of dedication to hand-write a letter or a task. Dedication that is not as easily apparent in online tasks. Second, it shows a level of committment and connection that online interaction is sometimes missing. Not only must the servant get the cash from the bank, as opposed to clicking online to make their tribute, they must also protect it so it is not discovered and stolen in the mail. Then they must go to the post office and mail it.

I really like this idea. I would love to find a servant interested in this type of service. Someone who recognizes the value in the written word. Someone who enjoys good stationary. Someone willing to put the time and effort into making their tribute and sending their tasks. In short, someone with the dedication and desire for connection that I find so sexy about this method of service.

Any takers?

Willful Disobedience

There are few things that will aggravate me as much or as quickly as willful disobedience. The moment when a servant makes a conscious decision that he will NOT do something I have asked him to do is the moment when that servant has made a conscious decision to be punished or to end our relationship.

I am not unreasonable. I do not set servants up for failure. If a servant is having problems completing a task, he may come to me, tell me what is going on and request a change in the task or permission to not complete the task. At that point I may request that the servant give the task another try or I may grant their request. Either way, I have already begun considering how to adjust the task to better meet your abilities.

What I will not accept is anything resembling you telling me you will not do something. As my servant, that is NOT your decision. It is mine. Your job is to be obedient and keep to my protocols. The first protocol is to keep me informed. That doesn't mean you inform me that you will or will not be obedient. It means asking for help or clemency.

I value Honor, Integrity, Service and Ruthless Obedience in all servants. Willful disobedience is none of those things and will not be tolerated.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Stressing the Details

I got a message from the online bit I've been working with for a couple of weeks. He began as a financial servant but told me he wanted more structure and wanted to be trained as I train my other servants. To that end, I assigned the most basic task I set my servants.
I am a firm believer in repetition and so I employ Write For Me as a tool to help servants learn not only the protocols by which I expect them to live, but also patience, perseverance, and attention to detail.
When this servant began his training, we discussed the difficulty he was having with the tasks. Some of the difficulty comes from English not being his primary language, but I am convinced that a majority of the issue is an unwillingness to simply push forward and keep trying, no matter how difficult the task seems. I understand that when English is not a person's primary language that writing a paragraph might be difficult, but I do not see that copying a line from the screen in front of you should be an impossible task.
And so I am left with two dilemmas. The first is how to adjust the tasks so the servant is successful. I have attempted several modifications, but as of today, the servant has abruptly given up and expected that to be an acceptable answer.
The second is how harshly to punish the servant for the nature of his refusal to complete the tasks. Regardless of the frustration he might be feeling, the manner in which he expressed that frustration was inappropriate.
And so I am left to ponder and consider. Refusal to learn and lack of obedience are big issues for me. If you aren't willing to try and tell me how things are going to be rather than doing what you've been told, we have issues. Issues I will solve.

As a follow up to the Stressing the Details post, I have devised this punishment for the servant in question.
The punishment for your behavior is as follows:
1. You will hand write the tasks you refused to complete, in English, and then take photographs and send them to me. That means that if you were to type the lines 10 times each, you will hand-write them 10 times each. I expect the handwriting to be neat and legible.
2. You will pay a penalty for your bad behavior equal to 25% of your free income for the next eight weeks. That means if after your bills you have $100 remaining, you will send $25 of that to me. You wanted financial servitude and control. You will get it.
3. You will write a formal apology to me in which you apologize for your behavior and indicate how you will prevent a situation such as this from arising again.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Diabolical Punishment Contest

MissSpiderKiss and I are joining forces to torture and tease all the little masochists out there. We know how twisted many masochists can be and we love it! That's why we've designed this contest.

The Contest

Submit your idea for the most twisted and diabolical punishment you can think of. Make sure it is something you can and are willing to suffer!

Send your idea to us via this form.

Send an Amazon Gift Card Tribute to both and In order to be eligible for the contest, you must send a gift card tribute to BOTH mistresses.

The winning entry will be chosen based on the nature of the punishment and the pleasure inflicting it would bring to both MissSpiderKiss and Mistress Isa, so be creative boys!

The winner will receive a Joint Skype Session with Mistress Isa and MissSpiderKiss in which they will suffer the punishment they have devised.

All submissions will be posted to my website and the winner's punishment will be featured once it has been performed.

This contest will run monthly. Send submissions each month by the 14th. The winner will be chosen on the 15th. Winners have until the 30th to claim their prize session with MissSpiderKiss and Mistress Isa.

May Flowers Contest

I adore flowers, though I am allergic to most of them. Because of my allergies, I usually only enjoy flowers through photographs. I thought it might be fun to have a May Flowers Contest to celebrate spring.

The Contest

Take a photo of a creative use of flowers. It can be mundane or kinky, but it must be creative!

Send the photo to my email ( Be sure to include either the source for borrowed photos or your name for your own photos.

Include your name and contact information in the email so I can contact the winner.

Follow up the submission of the photo with a tribute in the form of an Amazon Gift Card to the same address.

I will choose the photo I find most appealing and the winner will receive a 30 minute Skype or TeamViewer Session with me. Winners will be chosen on May 31 and announced on June 1.

All submissions will be posted to a gallery on my website.

May Worship Board Contest

A Worship Board is a visualization tool for servants, slaves and submissives. It is a representation of the servant's core values of service and worship. It can serve as a focal point for distance servants as well.

The Contest

Create a Worship Board using images that represent service to you. The board can be focused on serving me or service in general.

Submit the board to me by emailing a photo of your board to me at .

Your submission must be accompanied by a tribute. Amazon Gift Cards may be sent to the same email address.

The Worship Board I find most appealing and most representative of my core values of honor, integrity, and service will win a 1/2 hour Skype or TeamViewer Session with me.

All submissions will be posted to a gallery on my website. Winners will be chosen on May 31 and announced on June 1.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Something I'd Really Like to Have

Is it weird that I really want one of these? They look simply awesome and I want to be able to enjoy it with my boy.

Why are you polite?

I was talking with a prospective servant yesterday and he said the strangest thing to me. He decided I was the wrong Domme for him because I said please and thank you. Now I understand that each person comes to what we do with their own fetishes and peccadillos, but really? I'm too polite? And then I started thinking about it and realized there are actually two reasons I am polite to those who approach me.

The first is pretty simple. I'm a polite person. My mother raised me right. I say please and thank you because you should. I use sir and ma'am to address people I don't know because you should (not that I use those terms with petitioners, but you get the idea). I find good manners sexy, as sexy as good grammar, so why wouldn't I use them?

The second reason is just as simple to me, but perhaps more difficult for a prospective servant to understand. I don't play with what isn't mine. I'm not going to curse at you or humiliate you until we have struck an agreement of service between us. I know the game, boys. You want me to carry on and humiliate you to get your "fix" and then you'll disappear into the ether without having offered a single service or tribute. Here's a tip for you, if you think that game with work with me...I'm smarter than you are.

In addition to these two reasons for my general politeness, there is one other aspect of my personality that might lead a prospective servant to believe I'm "too nice" for them. I care about those who serve me and I refuse to demand or ask for tribute. If you want to serve me, you will be of service or offer tribute of your own free will unless and until we have a contract of servitude between us, at which point your free will is no longer free. I will also not allow you to tribute beyond your means. If you can't keep food on the table and a roof over your head, you can't tribute or serve me.

I have a bit who tributes only $50 per week. He receives the same level of care and attention as my boy who offers not only more in tribute, but personal service as well. It isn't all about the money. It IS all about the service and the pleasure your service brings me.

So be forewarned. I'm really a nice person. At least until I have consent from you. At that time, all bets are off and my sadist will come out to play.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Monday Mayhem Worship Cam Session

I will be available for Worship Cam from 6-10pm (Eastern)  Monday, April 29, 2013. It has been an exceptionally long week for me (Mondays are my Fridays) and I need to get rid of some stress.

To enter the Worship Cam, send a $25 Amazon Gift Card to

Requests for humiliation, feminization, foot worship, and sissy training will be considered, but please be prepared to tribute for all requests.

You might even convince me to deal a few hands of Chastity Blackjack if you're thinking you'd like to gamble with your pleasure for mine.

Find me on Skype-- live:mistress_isa

What I Really Want

It's funny how what you think you want isn't really what your heart and soul want for you. Sometimes there are simply places in your heart which need to be filled in a certain way. I'm a believer in polyamory because I feel that no one person will fulfill every need of another. Put simply, I don't go to the dentist when I have a broken arm. Why would I go to my boy when it is my financial domination fetish which needs to be scratched.

I've found a boy who is kind, gentle, and attentive. He is aware of me in a way no other man ever has been. He makes me smile at the same time he makes me want to do bad things (because he wants to suffer for me). I want to make him a part of my life and I am forced by circumstance and his cooler head to acknowledge that diving in, head-first, may not be the best way to build what I know will be an amazing relationship and power exchange.

My boy fills so many places in my life and I am so grateful he is there. But there are still places left open by either our power exchange structure or other limitations. I would still like to fill those places.

I still enjoy the financial domination fetish and while there is a level of that in my relationship with my boy, I would like to find one or two financial servants to fill that need. I want to have a personal connection with these servants and so I don't want a lot of one-off or temporary servants in this area. I want these servants to truly gain pleasure from sharing with me their fetish for spoiling a dominant woman. I want them to want to give to me and to share with me their other fantasies so I can help them fulfill those as well. I am a well-rounded sadist and if you give me just the slightest entry into you mind and fantasies, I will find wonderful places for us to play.

In short, I want to find the kind of servant who lives to serve and enjoys service rather than one seeking someone who will make them serve...who wants to be forced or imagines they are being forced.

And so I lurk on Findoms...posting my thoughts like these so the servants can get to know me. I might perv a profile or three. I may even message a few servants and talk about what is in their profiles. I chat with several servants because I enjoy their discourse. What you won't see me doing is pursuing servants or demanding tributes. I may put out a post that I am seeking something, or offer up my web app or call link, but know that those are possibilities, not demands.

So if you are interested in the kind of service I have described, or you just want to share some interesting and intellectual conversation, feel free to message me. I promise you will find in me a different kind of dominant woman. One who will value you and your service all the more for your strength and intelligence. One who will enjoy your sense of humor anyone who will bring you to your knees and let you beg to stay there.

But What do I Get For It?

I know some prospective servants ask the question, "what do I get for my tribute?" I want to address this question in two ways.

The first is the vocabulary lesson and more fantasy-like answer. A tribute is "a gift, testimonial, compliment, or the like, given as due or in acknowledgment of gratitude or esteem." What this means is that a servant has offered tribute because he or she feels the dominant is worthy and deserving. It is not an exchange for goods and services. A tribute is a demonstration of the honor of the servant and an indication of their esteem for the one they serve.

And that is the fantasy as well. That humans might be so driven by their honor, integrity, and esteem for another to altruistically offer tribute without an expectation of anything in return.

While I spend a considerable amount of time closer to the fantasy world than many vanilla folk might, I am, at heart, a realist. I know that most servants expect something in return for the tribute they offer and from me, they receive something we both value--my time and attention.

Those who serve me and regularly tribute receive varying degrees of attention and contact.
1. Those in service to me (I.e. under a contract with a regularly scheduled tribute) can reach me nearly 24/7 in their preferred method of contact. Most use Skype because I can take that with me during the day when I work.
2. Those who have tributed but are not in service to me usually contact me through the site where we met (I.e. Findoms) and find that I will chat with them freely through that method of contact.
3. Those who choose to schedule a certain type of session (teamviewer, Skype, phone, etc.) will receive my full attention for time of their session. I will often check in with these servants after their time has passed to ensure they are well and not suffering any ill effects of sub-drop.

Those who are in service to me also receive structure, boundaries, tasks, punishments and play. None of these are stunted upon and require a significant investment of time and attention on my part to ensure they are each receiving what they need to be happy, fulfilled servants.

What you will not receive from me in return for your tribute:
1. Cam "shows". I may talk to you on a video chat but I will remain clothed and you will not see more than me seated wherever I am at the time.
2. Nude photographs...don't ask, please.

And so if you are wondering if it is worthwhile to offer tribute to me (or someone like me-I am not so vain as to believe I am the only one doing things this way), consider the options you have. You can pour out your heart and soul, while emptying your wallet, to someone over a phone or cam line who will not remember your name five minutes after you disconnect or you can form a relationship with a Domme who sees you as a human being and will endeavor to create the kind of power exchange you need and desire to be happy in your true place in life. Either method will feed your desire to offer tribute, but which method will fulfill you as a servant?

Snark Becomes Theory

In a decidedly snarky moment yesterday, I wrote something that has now been rumbling through my brain and needs to be shared.

Being a dominant is very much like being a special needs educator. I'm not saying that we are similar because of the mental state of those we are teaching, but because like a special needs classroom, every individual servant must have his or her own structure, boundaries, and learning plan. There is no "common curriculum" used by dominants around the world and which can be changed slightly to fit every servant. Instead we dominants are faced with a blank slate and the need for an individual education plan for any servant who comes to petition us.

I have my starting point--my protocols and expectations--but even those must be tailored to fit the circumstances of the servant. A distance servant will have different expectations from me than a personal servant. A servant for whom English is not their primary language will have different communication expectations than one who is a native-born English speaker. I still must invest a significant amount of time and effort into each applicant before they are even in my service in order to determine if we are compatible. I must consider their needs and expectations and match them to my own. I must decide if the service they provide is worth the further investment managing them will require. In short, I must prepare a structure just to find out if it is feasible before even instituting it.

I believe that my experience as a teacher has both made me a better dominant and reduced my patience for those servants who believe they are serving if they demand to be "forced" to do things. If you come to me and ask to serve, you will not hear an immediate demand for tribute or even complex service. Do not take this as a sign that you will walk over me, get your wank material and move on. Instead, accept my small, simple service request for exactly what it is...a test...and do not bother to complete that task if you intend to attempt to jerk me around.

If you complete my application and place an amount on it for initial tribute, ask me how to make that tribute before expecting anything more than cursory communication from me. Understand that by offering a tribute on the application, you have submitted yourself for a second test. The first was the simple service of filling out the application. The second, a test of your own making, is a demonstration of your honor and commitment. Offering tribute but failing to follow through is tantamount to lying to my face and shows a severe lack of honor and integrity.

What you do not see while you are deciding whether or not to complete my task request or while you are dithering about paying the tribute you freely offered, is that I have already begun the work of getting to know you and preparing a structure that will work for you and your interactions with me. I have already but time and effort into you when I reply to your first message or petition. I ask only that you recognize this effort and do not allow it to go to waste.